Tough, tough couple of weeks for me

[woodchucker]

Present.... I am here.....

you are verboten

 

[RJSakowski]

Lawyers can be a real PITA. It's no surprise they have the reputation they do as a profession. In my parent's case, my Dad's lawyer set everything up so my Mom could become a ward of the state in essence, leaving my Dad's assets essentially untouched. My Dad even had power of attorney concerning my Mom's SSI benefits, giving my Mom an allowance for clothes, etc. I'm not sure what kind of legal mumbo jumbo the lawyer used but we were glad that he did.

I never expected to inherit anything from my parents. I had always told them and my siblings that my wish was the day they turned their toes would be the day they spent their last penny. We each got a few thousand each. For me it was enough to buy a seat of SolidWorks and a few other things. All the grand kids got gifts before my parents passing and were not included in the final bequest.

For my wife and myself, we set up a revocable trust. Since we have no children, aside from a bequest to my wife's twin sister in N. Ireland, all our net assets will go to various charities. The biggest problem will be disposing of all the shop equipment. We don't have any nieces or nephews who are interested in things mechanical and I would like to see the equipment go to someone deserving. In particular, moving the lathes and mills out of the basement shop isn't trivial. Since my wife is fourteen years younger then me, in all probability the clearing of all the shop equipment will probably become her task. In the event of her passing before me, my niece is my executor. Maybe Rawhide Boy's Club.

 

[WobblyHand]

Lawyers can be a real PITA. It's no surprise they have the reputation they do as a profession. In my parent's case, my Dad's lawyer set everything up so my Mom could become a ward of the state in essence, leaving my Dad's assets essentially untouched. My Dad even had power of attorney concerning my Mom's SSI benefits, giving my Mom an allowance for clothes, etc. I'm not sure what kind of legal mumbo jumbo the lawyer used but we were glad that he did.

I never expected to inherit anything from my parents. I had always told them and my siblings that my wish was the day they turned their toes would be the day they spent their last penny. We each got a few thousand each. For me it was enough to buy a seat of SolidWorks and a few other things. All the grand kids got gifts before my parents passing and were not included in the final bequest.

For my wife and myself, we set up a revocable trust. Since we have no children, aside from a bequest to my wife's twin sister in N. Ireland, all our net assets will go to various charities. The biggest problem will be disposing of all the shop equipment. We don't have any nieces or nephews who are interested in things mechanical and I would like to see the equipment go to someone deserving. In particular, moving the lathes and mills out of the basement shop isn't trivial. Since my wife is fourteen years younger then me, in all probability the clearing of all the shop equipment will probably become her task. In the event of her passing before me, my niece is my executor. Maybe Rawhide Boy's Club.

Going to say, all of this was not about the money. All of the family beneficiaries don't really need the money, they are all settled, although it is always helpful.

It's the treachery and betrayal by my father's colleague that just plain hurts. I will say, that my choices in moving closer to my kids is going to be a lot more limited due to this episode. Housing is a LOT more expensive near them than here. So I'm looking at downsizing, when I really want more room for my activities (shop).

My wife and I have a revocable trust as well. Nearly everything is in it. When we move, I want to make sure the new space is easier to get stuff in and out, especially shop related things. It was tough getting the equipment into the basement. Probably tougher on the way out! So no basement shop for the next house. Ground level only.

 

[woodchucker]

It's the treachery and betrayal by my father's colleague that just plain hurts.

It's why I like to keep to myself. I have had family and friends turn for their self interests.
My sister has multiple times pulled stuff on me. I have a long list of being betrayed by people.
I don't go after retribution, I just sever ties. People are greedy. They want, or think they want.
Even the most religious don't see themselves, they see everyone else, and judge, but they are blind to their own actions.

 

[RJSakowski]

Consider a split level with a walk-in basement. The advantages of temperature and humidity control while easy outside access.

 

[WobblyHand]

Omg, the twists and turns. The plot thickens. So I call the current trustee to inform them that the property has been sold. Five days from now, they are to resign and give me the trusteeship, per the settlement.

I then get an apology that they have been unable to provide me needed financial information to file an estate tax return. It turns out the problem is the bank has failed to process the papers for their trusteeship. And the bank has been stonewalling them. So the funds at that bank are frozen, and not accessible to them or to me. Think I'm going to sic the IRS on them, because they are withhold information from me so I can lawfully file a tax return. I had to file a second extension to the estate taxes because of this BS. Meanwhile it is costing me money.

 

[WobblyHand]

This is not a little bank, either. I'll ask the current, soon to resign, trustee if they mind if I have a chat with the IRS. They will say no most likely. So I will wait a week, once I have the papers, and do it myself.

 

[verbotenwhisky]

It's why I like to keep to myself. I have had family and friends turn for their self interests.
My sister has multiple times pulled stuff on me. I have a long list of being betrayed by people.
I don't go after retribution, I just sever ties. People are greedy. They want, or think they want.
Even the most religious don't see themselves, they see everyone else, and judge, but they are blind to their own actions.

I agree, sadly, I have seen many children, when one parent dies, steel from the parent still alive or try to force parents into a home so they can sell their stuff and I do not understand the mentality.

I tell new guys that work for me a little anecdote which goes like this: You know when folks go see movies there is always something that will make them look away, something they have an issue with or find intolerable, for some its blood or violence, for some its obscene language, gestures or nudity. For me the thing I cannot watch nor enjoy is betrayal, not the type betrayal where people are put in a situation by happenstance but the type betrayal which is carefully planned and orchestrated, the proverbial stab in the back, this I will not tolerate, it will lead to a rapid untenable response from me which will result in dismissal. I feel this way about betrayal period and find it unforgivable, I do not do it to others and expect the same considerations.

My father is 85, he'll be gone long before I am ready to let him go. He asked me to look at his will, I need to but I do not want to, he asked what I thought about certain assets and I told him they are his until he is gone, he earned them and he earned the right to enjoy what he has and refuse to tell him anything where I stand to gain or lose, this is the part of life I hate, saying good by to those I took for granted would always be there and every year now there are fewer of them and it SUCKS.

Sorry.....

 

[WobblyHand]

My family (the alive ones) are relative angels. They have been pretty supportive, and non-demanding. For the most part they really didn't want much of anything. We all have what we need. This is just extra - but it's tough to get access to it, with all the legal BS surrounding it.

However, that guy planned his betrayal over a long period of time, about 3.5 years. It was premeditated. He used attorneys to help him. He found himself shopping for unethical attorneys, when decent one's turned him down. I later found out about that. One of the scum attorney's saw to it that my sister was set up to be screwed over tax wise. There was no need for the transaction to be done the way it was - it was just to hurt her. Real low. I had no idea it was the same attorney until I found the records. What an unethical low life.

I did something rash which I somewhat regret, but it was the best thing I could have done at the time. I destroyed my father's pistol. Literally milled it to pieces rendering the receiver into chips. Why did I do that? Because I was so angry I wanted to kill him with that pistol, for his betrayal of my family and my father. The rage stayed with me a while - far too long. I would suppress it, and it would come back at weird times, often late at night. I destroyed that pistol so it wouldn't be tempted to do something I would regret. I am over that rage now, it has passed, the nightmares stopped, perhaps due to my action, a rejection of violence. Sad, that I needed to destroy the gun, but it was the right thing to do. Weirdly, I had zero motivation to use any other piece that I own - it was just that pistol that was calling to me to avenge my father.

Good thing that soon I'm about to be distracted by visiting my grand kids. Hope my face still can smile and laugh, it's out of practice.

 

[woodchucker]

I lost my dad in my mid 20s. I wish I had more time with him as we had turned the page on my rebellious stage. I left home early.