Today's Joke - 2023 Mega Thread

[Eddyde]

 

[Eddyde]

 

[Eddyde]

 

[RJSakowski]

View attachment 471944

He probably uses a transporter. It was just a little hard to imagine in pre-Victorian times so the idea of reindeer and sleigh was invented.

However, there are 2.6 billion children in the world with 25% of them Christian. With an average of 2 children per household, that would mean 1.3 billion stops. Assuming that Santa has a window, of 36 hours to complete the task and he doesn't make pit stops or take coffee breaks, that coincidentally works out to 130,000 seconds of delivery time . This amounts to 100 microseconds per stop.

 

[matthewsx]

He probably uses a transporter. It was just a little hard to imagine in pre-Victorian times so the idea of reindeer and sleigh was invented.

However, there are 2.6 billion children in the world with 25% of them Christian. With an average of 2 children per household, that would mean 1.3 billion stops. Assuming that Santa has a window, of 36 hours to complete the task and he doesn't make pit stops or take coffee breaks, that coincidentally works out to 130,000 seconds of delivery time . This amounts to 100 microseconds per stop.

It’s not science though, it’s magic

 

[davek181]

 

[RJSakowski]

And what about all those plates of cookies? If only one in ten households leaves a plate of cookies, that's still 130 million plate. With only two cookies per plate, that is still 260 million cookies. At an ounce apiece, that works out to more than 8,000 tons of cookies. We know that Santa is taking the cookies because the plate is empty the next morning.

And don't get me started on the glasses of milk.

 

[Meta Key]

However, there are 2.6 billion children in the world with 25% of them Christian. With an average of 2 children per household, that would mean 1.3 billion stops. Assuming that Santa has a window, of 36 hours to complete the task and he doesn't make pit stops or take coffee breaks, that coincidentally works out to 130,000 seconds of delivery time . This amounts to 100 microseconds per stop.

Wait..

2.6 billion children on the planet.
2.6 billion * 0.25 = 650,000,000 Christian children.
650,000,000 / 2 = 325,000,000 stops (average 2 children each)
36 hours = 129,600 seconds allowed for delivery schedule
129,600 / 325,000,000 = 0.000398769230769 seconds per delivery

So, that’s (roughly) a whopping 400 microseconds per delivery.

No problem; lots of time. Which explains how he got 'er done. Without a transporter..

Merry Christmas!
-MK

 

[higgite]

He probably uses a transporter. It was just a little hard to imagine in pre-Victorian times so the idea of reindeer and sleigh was invented.

However, there are 2.6 billion children in the world with 25% of them Christian. With an average of 2 children per household, that would mean 1.3 billion stops. Assuming that Santa has a window, of 36 hours to complete the task and he doesn't make pit stops or take coffee breaks, that coincidentally works out to 130,000 seconds of delivery time . This amounts to 100 microseconds per stop.

Whaaaaat are you trying to say, RJ?

Tom

 

[Jeff.64]

Male reindeer shed their antlers before winter. Only the female reindeer have antlers on Dec. 24th.

Actually, castrated male reindeer that do have antlers in winter, and are usually used to pull sleds.

Santa had a problem many, many years ago when Rudolph got a hold of the naughty and nice list and the guys snuck out on Christmas Eve to visit all of the naughty girls. This caused a slight delay with Christmas deliveries that year. You see, due to the stolen list, Santa had to go to all of the naughty girls houses from memory to round up his reindeer. That really wore Santa out by the time he caught up to them all. So, Santa "axed" that behavior to keep the reindeer in line. Poor guys...

Of course we all know why Santa is so Jolly!

Here is more info: https://deerhabits.com/santas-reindeer/