What can I learn from this?

[coolidge]

Hi folks,
So yesterday a person left this comment on my Facebook post:

I have coached many a director on this topic over the years...

When this individual posted that comment they were expecting a very specific response. That's why they posted it. I call you a yellow bellied sap sucker and you get mad or offended. That's how these things work. I'm a jerk to you and you respond, as expected, as predicted like my puppet.

OR you can CHOOSE to not allow other people to control you in that way.

I learned this technique 25 years ago during a leadership training course. Not long after I came to work one Monday and there's a scathing email in my box from a manager in another office. This guy Mark had nothing flattering to say about me. He copied my boss, his boss and the regional director. Prior to this training I would have told Mark where he could go and what he could do when he got there. But I thought I would try this technique I had just learned.

So I replied to Mark, copying the same senior managers and director. Completely ignoring his attack I was 100% positive and friendly. Told Mark to give me a call, I got some great ideas.

Mark replied back, thinking Coolidge you idiot I just attacked you and you didn't understand I was attacking you...so he attacked me a second time with even more gusto! lol Again I replied back, copying the same people, again ignoring his attack and this time I laid it on thick, GO TEAM!

At this point the regional director (who forced me to take this leadership training) sent me a text msg asking, "Are you using the training technique on Mark?" I replied, "yup" and the director started cracking up.

Poor Mark is now super confused and more than a bit embarrassed having had a meltdown in full view of all the bosses. So he called me on the phone, apologizing profusely. So I used a 2nd technique I had learned during the training. When you have someone cold, when they are defenseless and you can rake them over the coals, instead you can CHOOSE (there's that word again) to let them completely off the hook. Which is what I did. I told Mark it was already forgotten. I certainly have had my Monday's I guess it was his turn, no worries buddy I still enjoy working with you.

Mark and I were good friends from that day forward and frequently supported each other during annual performance reviews of our staff. Had I responded differently, engaging in a tit for tat, that working relationship would have been destroyed. Zero trust right. Instead I was able to engineer a completely different outcome.

So choose to respond in a way that is not expected. That could be no response at all. Or a response that ignores the intentional swipe completely.

 

[markba633csi]

Yuriy maybe you could change the ad copy to: Your tablet needs touch DRO
Those who are interested will read it and lower life forms will grunt and ignore it

Empty beer cans
on the road
are ugly
people say
but in the night
reflecting bright
they safely
guide the way
Burma Shave

 

[Just for fun]

Well, Bummer.

I think the words across the screen in a ghost type or shaded "Display not included" would do it.

And if you do respond, just a quick note, I changed the ad sorry for the confusion.

 

[ChazzC]

Yuriy maybe you could change the ad copy to: Your tablet needs touch DRO
Those who are interested will read it and the others will grunt and ignore it

Empty beer cans
on the road
are ugly
people say
but in the night
reflecting bright
they safely
guide the way
Burma Shave

OT: I saw that cartoon probably in the same Mad Magazine as you maybe 60 years ago!

 

[ChazzC]

I have coached many a director on this topic over the years...

When this individual posted that comment they were expecting a very specific response. That's why they posted it. I call you a yellow bellied sap sucker and you get mad or offended. That's how these things work. I'm a jerk to you and you respond, as expected, as predicted like my puppet.

OR you can CHOOSE to not allow other people to control you in that way.

I learned this technique 25 years ago during a leadership training course. Not long after I came to work one Monday and there's a scathing email in my box from a manager in another office. This guy Mark had nothing flattering to say about me. He copied my boss, his boss and the regional director. Prior to this training I would have told Mark where he could go and what he could do when he got there. But I thought I would try this technique I had just learned.

So I replied to Mark, copying the same senior managers and director. Completely ignoring his attack I was 100% positive and friendly. Told Mark to give me a call, I got some great ideas.

Mark replied back, thinking Coolidge you idiot I just attacked you and you didn't understand I was attacking you...so he attacked me a second time with even more gusto! lol Again I replied back, copying the same people, again ignoring his attack and this time I laid it on thick, GO TEAM!

At this point the regional director (who forced me to take this leadership training) sent me a text msg asking, "Are you using the training technique on Mark?" I replied, "yup" and the director started cracking up.

Poor Mark is now super confused and more than a bit embarrassed having had a meltdown in full view of all the bosses. So he called me on the phone, apologizing profusely. So I used a 2nd technique I had learned during the training. When you have someone cold, when they are defenseless and you can rake them over the coals, instead you can CHOOSE (there's that word again) to let them completely off the hook. Which is what I did. I told Mark it was already forgotten. I certainly have had my Monday's I guess it was his turn, no worries buddy I still enjoy working with you.

Mark and I were good friends from that day forward and frequently supported each other during annual performance reviews of our staff. Had I responded differently, engaging in a tit for tat, that working relationship would have been destroyed. Zero trust right. Instead I was able to engineer a completely different outcome.

So choose to respond in a way that is not expected. That could be no response at all. Or a response that ignores the intentional swipe completely.

Killing him with kindness

 

[markba633csi]

Was that the same issue that had "Benji's electric banger-upper" for noisy upstairs neighbors? LOL

Reflecting on Yuriy's ad copy: "Your mill needs a tablet DRO- Your tablet needs TouchDRO"



You could also do the religious angle: Picture of Moses holding the 10 commandments (with thumbs up)- "I insist on TouchDRO for my tablets"

 

[SouthernChap]

Not going to say anything new but just add my support to the general consensus.

Yeah, if you have time, feel free to add something more prominent to the ad (as has been suggested, perhaps some text in the image, next to the tablet) explaining that you're not giving away free tablets with every purchase!

If you want to respond to the poster, with a friendly message saying something like "Thanks for the heads up. The fact that the tablet isn't included is mentioned in the text, but I've added a bit of text to the image to make it impossible to miss. It certainly wasn't my intention to decieve anyone and now I'm happy that the ad avoids any misunderstanding"

Alternatively you could message them with the bit of text from the current ad that does say "Tablet not included" and follow it up with this image.

 

[markba633csi]

That's a good Kahuna burger

 

[DavieJ75]

As others have stated there are those on some of these sites that do this all the time. They attack products for simple things like not having a posted disclaimer, such as your tablet example, expecting something in return. On amazon it was horrible 10, 15 years ago and drove a lot of good sellers out of the market. You can see it when you look at it from the angle that it is a slight form of extortion. Want me to remove my negative comment, pay me, usually with giving me the product or refunding my money. This still happens on amazon, you will see that people bought a product, gave 1 or 2 stars complaining that it doesn't work or was falsely advertised. Then when the seller valuing their rating sends them a replacement or their money back they give a full 5 star rating. Rinse and repeat. Regular people usually just return the product to amazon for refund. The one reason that amazon requires the return of the product for refund is to limit this behavior. Amazon doesn't even look at the returns they go on to pallets for auction.

Ignore the review. Add a water mark over the picture saying tablet not included and move on. Don't dwell on it or worry. Once you add the watermark it makes the persons comment mute. If they attack you more then you know out right that they are trying to scam you.

 

[ycroosh]

Thank you for the ideas, gentlemen. Much appreciated.
As far as the poster on FB, I'm not too stressed out about the message itself - just wanted to make sure that I'm not missing some sort of important signal. I don't know what his motivation was, but if this is a way to trade bad review removal for a freebie, that doesn't work well on me. My ego is fragile, but not this fragile ...

So, my takeaway is that it would be helpful to de-emphasize the tablet and somehow add clearer indication that it's not included. That I can do easily.

Regards
Yuriy