Way Off Topic: Sleep Apnea and Obesity

[Aaron_W]

We both are crazy about our dogs! We also have a 22 year old son that is still at home, and we are putting him through school so that he can be a drug counselor. His brother (my middle son) died of a heroin overdose so he wants to prevent drug-related tragedies.

We go up once a year to see my granddaughter (the daughter of my late son). We try our best to get along on that 6 day trip for the sake of the girl.

Her & I can spend 10 minutes together at the most before an argument breaks out. Trust me, me being either at work or in the shop is best. We have tried going out of town overnight before, and every time we ended up in a huge fight.

****The solution with toxic relationships is “Avoid, avoid, avoid”****. This is a clear solution to a mammoth problem. She sometimes worries that I will leave her for another woman, but the chances of this happening are zero. Things are so bad between us that I would never even *consider* risking a repeat of this untenable situation.

Recently I decided to operate under the assumption that I am the problem in the relationship. This gives us something else that we can agree on.

I am very happy for you guys who have a wife with whom it is at least remotely possible to get along with.

As long as you have a plan that works for you so you don't die of a stroke or a blow from a rolling pin before 60.

As far as your wife's concerns, it sounds like she has nothing to fear about you wandering unless you meet a women who is PM or Miller blue.

 

[tq60]

You stay at work to avoid home, do not get along with your wife.

You also are in debt to your ears.

Does the wife work?

How does the spending on you affect her thoughts of where she is at in your priorities?

Debt can cause a lot of stress as it strains everything, been there a few times.

Stop investing a bit in hobby stuff and start investing in family as life is too short.

The wife may like yard art or other things that you could use your skills to produce.

Until you fix the family, there will never be enough time in the shop.

You both like dogs, make iron art related to dogs, get her involved so both of you are being co-creators of the "art".

Sent from my SM-G781V using Tapatalk

 

[erikmannie]

You stay at work to avoid home, do not get along with your wife.

You also are in debt to your ears.

Does the wife work?

How does the spending on you affect her thoughts of where she is at in your priorities?

Debt can cause a lot of stress as it strains everything, been there a few times.

Stop investing a bit in hobby stuff and start investing in family as life is too short.

The wife may like yard art or other things that you could use your skills to produce.

Until you fix the family, there will never be enough time in the shop.

You both like dogs, make iron art related to dogs, get her involved so both of you are being co-creators of the "art".

Sent from my SM-G781V using Tapatalk

Even one 6-day vacation every year to go see our granddaughter is pushing it. On all the other vacations that we went on, she shot off her mouth and ruined the vacation. We tried again and again, but we got the same result.

My wife works [50 paid + 7.5 unpaid] hours/week as the owner of a Family Childcare Home at our house. The bottom line on her Schedule C is about $36,500/year, this after the many writeoffs for using part of the house for the daycare.

Moving forward, I can’t imagine any tools or equipment that I would need to buy after my welding + machining purchasing surge for the last 4 years. I still buy materials and replace consumables that I use, though.

She was not a fan, but I purposely invested the lion’s share of my discretionary income in tools & equipment, this on top of that $45K or so in scary consumer debt. I say “invested” because I expect the need to do paid work in the shop after I retire (due to inflation).

To be honest, my Dad taught me to divert discretionary income away from the wife, as some men believe that women may waste it. I know this sounds harsh, but I would revolt if my hard earned money was wasted (I am *very* stingy when it comes to non-tool purchases).

Somebody who is following this is probably starting to see that my wife isn’t having too much fun. Once I got to my breaking point of seeing too many arguments, I sort of checked out and took my discretionary income with me.

If you go back in time before she had a smart mouth, things were as they should be. Those of you who have experienced a mouthy wife or girlfriend will sympathize. If you have not experienced this, count your blessings.

 

[Ironman2]

To be honest, my Dad taught me to divert discretionary income away from the wife, as some men believe that women may waste it. I know this sounds harsh, but I would revolt if my hard earned money was wasted (I am *very* stingy when it comes to non-tool purchases).

If you go back in time before she had a smart mouth, things were as they should be. Those of you who have experienced a mouthy wife or girlfriend will sympathize. If you have not experienced this, count your blessings.

I understand your feelings and where you are coming from. Once you have a gun pushed into your stomach and the bolt worked and trigger pulled 3 times, you get a more realistic view of women. And when she calls the cops on you after, you get a good education about the RCMP.

I have been married to the same girl for 44 years, and the chance I had to see her in operation during her divorce, made me very comfortable that she was fair and honest and trustworthy. We have raised 4 children together and they are successful in their lives. We are happier than ever today, but this is very rare.

 

[erikmannie]

I am not necessarily talking about my wife, but some people are good and sweet, but not the brightest crayon in the box. If people are trying as hard as they can, how could you ask them to do any better?

I did really well on my diet for 11 days (down 9 lbs.), but I allowed myself to get overly hungry (I was shaking) near the end of a 13 hour shift on a Friday night. I ate 3 little bags of cookies that someone at work had put out, but I got right back on the wagon with a really healthy salad for dinner.

I guess the way to resolve this would be to (1) never even lay my hands on a cheat food (I grabbed the cookies with the intention of bringing them to my son), and (2) don’t let myself get hungry!

I had made another thread about feeling tired all the time. Eating really healthy all the time pretty much resolved that. The unresolved component is due to stress at home.

Regarding stress management, that is something that I need to be continuously mindful about when I am at home. Fortunately, I have zero stress at work, My employer (UPS) is extremely helpful with me changing my hours & getting me all the OT that I want. My coworkers are okay, management is terrific, & the customers on my route are always so nice to me which helps me get through long shifts.

 

[Ironman2]

I have lost weight and maintained my weight, not by starving or any special diet (Remember diet is Die with a T) but what I do is always have a small portion, and always leave some on my plate. Yes it wastes a little bit of food, unless a pet eats it. I love my potatoes and venison, and veggies and bread, but only eat a little of it every day.

 

[erikmannie]

I have lost weight and maintained my weight, not by starving or any special diet (Remember diet is Die with a T) but what I do is always have a small portion, and always leave some on my plate. Yes it wastes a little bit of food, unless a pet eats it. I love my potatoes and venison, and veggies and bread, but only eat a little of it every day.

Congratulations on losing weight and keeping it off.

With your small portions not entirely finished, I wonder if you are often hungry. If so, how do you deal with the hunger?

On the (regimen) that I am on, I am sometimes a little hungry, but I just go on with what I am doing, and I actually notice that I have more energy (which seems contradictory). If I am really hungry *and* haven’t eaten anything in 3-5+ hours, at that point I do eat a healthy meal.

 

[Ironman2]

Congratulations on losing weight and keeping it off.

With your small portions not entirely finished, I wonder if you are often hungry. If so, how do you deal with the hunger?

On the (regimen) that I am on, I am sometimes a little hungry, but I just go on with what I am doing, and I actually notice that I have more energy (which seems contradictory). If I am really hungry *and* haven’t eaten anything in 3-5+ hours, at that point I do eat a healthy meal.

A can of Boost protein drink or, I know it's messy, but sunflower seeds are great for pushing hunger aside and gives you something to chew and do with your hands. You'll never get fat eating seeds.

 

[nobog]

$45K in debt + tools & equipment doesn't sound like "discretionary income" to me.

 

[erikmannie]

$45K in debt + tools & equipment doesn't sound like "discretionary income" to me.

It is when you use your discretionary income to pay off the debt, and the interest on the loan is also paid with discretionary income.

There is not much money left over after buying tools, which is just how I like it.