Way Off Topic: Sleep Apnea and Obesity

[Aaron_W]

I was told you can now take the sleep test at home is that correct? They give you a devise similar to a fit bit that you sleep with and it automatically gets sent to the doctor. My problem is finding time to do the sleep test. Which I’d get crappy sleep anyways just because I’m not at home in my bed. I wake up about every two hours at night. Find myself getting a snack or a pee. Been doing it for 10-15yrs. Feel good when I wake but it really annoying waking up. I don’t snore and I don’t think I have any problems with breathing.

Yes, they did this with my mother in 2017. They gave her a monitor that went on her wrist like a big watch.

 

[Inferno]

I can imagine! You can’t put a price on peace or freedom.

My Dad is 80 years old & lives about 4 minutes away. Sometimes I see him every day, & we are very close. I take after him in many ways (personality-wise).

Him & I had our first marriages (to our high school sweethearts) end in divorce, & we both remarried quickly.

He & I had a very long private talk about my (and his, which is AFib) health situation today. He is 100% against a very expensive divorce; he always says the same thing: “That is not an option”.

On the assumption that he is more wise than myself, I am staying married this time mostly due to his advice. I get along nicely with the other 5 people in our house (as does my wife).

I am moving forward assuming that *I* am mostly the problem why my wife & I argue so much. Most of our problems have arisen from me choosing to spend my time & money on my hobbies, rather than spending my time & money on spending time with my wife, kids & grandkids.

To her, I come across as very selfish & boring. Like many of you guys, I prefer to spend my time alone with tools & projects. I can see that this is not fun for her.

My ex said I was boring and selfish. Nothing close to being true.
She is/was bipolar so, to her, excitement was different than not being boring. I liked to do all kinds of interesting things. She really just wanted to do things a typical rebellious 15 year old would do.
As for being selfish. I gave everything I had to the family. She drove the new car. She wanted expensive vacations, we took them. Too many things to list. I even had to pay off HER credit cards twice for a total of over $40,000.
So, don't take her word for being boring and selfish (in fact, with everyone and their brother living at your house it hardly sounds selfish).
Another thing I'd say might be a common thread is my ex always wanted to have extra people living in our house. I swear there was one or more of a dozen people living in our house at any given time.
Now let's go for your dads A-fib. Been there, dealing with that. Just had the laser ablation last October. Heart failure due to A-fib a year ago. Let's just say that was Rona related and not open a can of worms.

I hope your dad is taking his anticoagulants and isn't having too much A-fib episodes. Keep an eye on his weight. If he starts retaining weight, he needs to get checked and fast.

 

[Aaron_W]

I can imagine! You can’t put a price on peace or freedom.

My Dad is 80 years old & lives about 4 minutes away. Sometimes I see him every day, & we are very close. I take after him in many ways (personality-wise).

Him & I had our first marriages (to our high school sweethearts) end in divorce, & we both remarried quickly.

He & I had a very long private talk about my (and his, which is AFib) health situation today. He is 100% against a very expensive divorce; he always says the same thing: “That is not an option”.

On the assumption that he is more wise than myself, I am staying married this time mostly due to his advice. I get along nicely with the other 5 people in our house (as does my wife).

I am moving forward assuming that *I* am mostly the problem why my wife & I argue so much. Most of our problems have arisen from me choosing to spend my time & money on my hobbies, rather than spending my time & money on spending time with my wife, kids & grandkids.

To her, I come across as very selfish & boring. Like many of you guys, I prefer to spend my time alone with tools & projects. I can see that this is not fun for her.

Do the two of you have any common interests? Something where you could trade off one of your Sundays for something she wants to do that you don't mind doing, in exchange for your other Sundays being guilt free?

My wife and I get along very well, and do a lot of things together, but we still have our separate "alone time" for our hobbies that the other isn't interested in. We also participate in activities together that the other isn't really into, but having someone to do something with is desirable. My wife has gone with me a few times to bring home a new (to me) machine and helped me move them several times. Not her favorite activity but I need a second person, and having company on the drive there and back is nice. We will usually include a nice meal somewhere so it isn't just about the machines.


Your lack of getting away the past few years for your extended welding classes may also be a factor. You used to get several weeks alone with your welding.

 

[Aaron_W]

Regarding the boring, I've met you in person. Boring is not the word I'd use to describe you. A garage full of home built E-bikes, welding machines, O/A welding supplies, and machine tools.

You may have a narrow area of interest (and really not that narrow), but I've met boring people who literally have no interests beyond sitting on the couch and watching TV with having the TV on being optional. No you are not boring.

 

[Inferno]

Regarding the boring, I've met you in person. Boring is not the word I'd use to describe you. A garage full of home built E-bikes, welding machines, O/A welding supplies, and machine tools.

You may have a narrow area of interest (and really not that narrow), but I've met boring people who literally have no interests beyond sitting on the couch and watching TV with having the TV on being optional. No you are not boring.

Yup. That's the kind of person that's NOT boring.

 

[Ironman2]

Maybe it is normal to be tired all the time when you are older?

I think 56 is a bit young for age related tiredness. I'm 75 and I got 3-4 hours a day in me and then I have a nap for an hour.
Logging that extra weight is a main part of lack of energy.
I also have a lung disease and shortness of breath and oxygen will help make you tired.

 

[erikmannie]

Do the two of you have any common interests? Something where you could trade off one of your Sundays for something she wants to do that you don't mind doing, in exchange for your other Sundays being guilt free?

My wife and I get along very well, and do a lot of things together, but we still have our separate "alone time" for our hobbies that the other isn't interested in. We also participate in activities together that the other isn't really into, but having someone to do something with is desirable. My wife has gone with me a few times to bring home a new (to me) machine and helped me move them several times. Not her favorite activity but I need a second person, and having company on the drive there and back is nice. We will usually include a nice meal somewhere so it isn't just about the machines.


Your lack of getting away the past few years for your extended welding classes may also be a factor. You used to get several weeks alone with your welding.

We both are crazy about our dogs! We also have a 22 year old son that is still at home, and we are putting him through school so that he can be a drug counselor. His brother (my middle son) died of a heroin overdose so he wants to prevent drug-related tragedies.

We go up once a year to see my granddaughter (the daughter of my late son). We try our best to get along on that 6 day trip for the sake of the girl.

Her & I can spend 10 minutes together at the most before an argument breaks out. Trust me, me being either at work or in the shop is best. We have tried going out of town overnight before, and every time we ended up in a huge fight.

****The solution with toxic relationships is “Avoid, avoid, avoid”****. This is a clear solution to a mammoth problem. She sometimes worries that I will leave her for another woman, but the chances of this happening are zero. Things are so bad between us that I would never even *consider* risking a repeat of this untenable situation.

Recently I decided to operate under the assumption that I am the problem in the relationship. This gives us something else that we can agree on.

I am very happy for you guys who have a wife with whom it is at least remotely possible to get along with.

 

[erikmannie]

My ex said I was boring and selfish. Nothing close to being true.
She is/was bipolar so, to her, excitement was different than not being boring. I liked to do all kinds of interesting things. She really just wanted to do things a typical rebellious 15 year old would do.
As for being selfish. I gave everything I had to the family. She drove the new car. She wanted expensive vacations, we took them. Too many things to list. I even had to pay off HER credit cards twice for a total of over $40,000.
So, don't take her word for being boring and selfish (in fact, with everyone and their brother living at your house it hardly sounds selfish).
Another thing I'd say might be a common thread is my ex always wanted to have extra people living in our house. I swear there was one or more of a dozen people living in our house at any given time.
Now let's go for your dads A-fib. Been there, dealing with that. Just had the laser ablation last October. Heart failure due to A-fib a year ago. Let's just say that was Rona related and not open a can of worms.

I hope your dad is taking his anticoagulants and isn't having too much A-fib episodes. Keep an eye on his weight. If he starts retaining weight, he needs to get checked and fast.

My Dad weighs more than I do! He is under a doctor’s care, & takes about 5-6 meds daily. This is why I never miss a chance to spend time with him.

 

[great white]

Best day for me was when I got the finalized divorce papers.

It wasn't a bad relationship, it was just all one sided. As in; she wanted to marry me from a high school age and I wasn't interested in her that way. Hung around and hung around and hung around, weaseled her way into my romantic life and while I can't exactly prove it I'm sure she did her best to sabotage any relationship I had.

I made one bad decision and eventually asked her to marry me, which she jumped on even though she KNEW I wasn't into it. I had "meal ticket" stamped on my forehead apparently. It was a complicated and confusing time in my life, and yes, in a moment of weakness I did ask her. So I can't deny my responsibility in the whole cock-up. That lasted nearly 14 years, until I met the woman I should have waited for my whole life.

But, it's kind of an odd situation. Had I not married the wrong woman first, I never would have met the woman I'm with now.

Life's funny sometimes. You never know where it's going to twist or turn.

My next "best day" will be when my daughter graduates university and I can cut wife 1 completely out of my life. Paying child support to an ex-wife for a 22 year old daughter (that the Ex has turned against you 100%) is just ridiculous, but the courts have got you in a vise and there's only one way out.....you gotta wait it out and the pay a lawyer again to terminate. What a scam....

 

[erikmannie]

Best day for me was when I got the finalized divorce papers.

It wasn't a bad relationship, it was just all one sided. As in; she wanted to marry me from a high school age and I wasn't interested in her that way. Hung around and hung around and hung around, weaseled her way into my romantic life and while I can't exactly prove it I'm sure she did her best to sabotage any relationship I had.

I made one bad decision and eventually asked her to marry me, which she jumped on even though she KNEW I wasn't into it. I had "meal ticket" stamped on my forehead apparently. It was a complicated and confusing time in my life, and yes, in a moment of weakness I did ask her. So I can't deny my responsibility in the whole cock-up. That lasted nearly 14 years, until I met the woman I should have waited for my whole life.

But, it's kind of an odd situation. Had I not married the wrong woman first, I never would have met the woman I'm with now.

Life's funny sometimes. You never know where it's going to twist or turn.

My next "best day" will be when my daughter graduates university and I can cut wife 1 completely out of my life. Paying child support to an ex-wife for a 22 year old daughter (that the Ex has turned against you 100%) is just ridiculous, but the courts have got you in a vise and there's only one way out.....you gotta wait it out and the pay a lawyer again to terminate. What a scam....

It sounds like the good outweighs the bad there, what with the nice wife you have.