Today’s Jokes 2025

Probably the last time this will work....

I got pulled over on the highway for going 7 mph over the speed limit.​

As the officer started walking up to my truck, I rolled my windows down. Suddenly, my adorable and apparently incredibly smart 7-year-old granddaughter started screaming from the backseat, “It’s coming out!!!!!” “I can’t hold it any longer, Paw Paw!!!” “It’s almost here!!!!!!!! Paw Pawwww!!!” Now, the trooper is hearing her scream all of this, and he stands up on my brush guard, leans in the window, and asks her, “What’s going on here??” She looks him dead in the face and says, “I’ve got poop coming outta my butt!!” The officer started laughing uncontrollably. I must have looked completely shocked and embarrassed. He asked how far I had to go, which was about 2 miles to my home. He told me to drive safely and get Miss Thang home to do her business. He just couldn’t stop laughing. As soon as we pulled away, I asked, “What the hell was that about???” This kid smirked and said, “I saw it on YouTube, but I didn’t think it would work.” I asked, “So... you're not pooping?” She replied, “Nope, and you’re not in trouble either.”
 
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