Today's Jokes - 2024

Is a barista’s favorite song "This Is How We Brew It"?

Are espresso bean’s favorite Led Zeppelin song Whole Latte Love?

I think my espresso machine is a gossip. It keeps Spilling the beans.

Did hipsters burn their tongues because they drank their coffee before it was cool?

Hurricanes can only see with one eye.

Lightning is striking to watch.
 
Eddyde said:
THESE ARE ACTUAL COMPLAINTS RECEIVED BY "THOMAS COOK VACATIONS" FROM DISSATISFIED CUSTOMERS:

1. "They should not allow topless sunbathing on the beach. It was very distracting for my husband who just wanted to relax."

2. "On my holiday to Goa in India, I was disgusted to find that almost every restaurant served curry. I don't like spicy food."

3. "We went on holiday to Spain and had a problem with the taxi drivers as they were all Spanish."

4. "We booked an excursion to a water park but no-one told us we had to bring our own swimsuits and towels. We assumed it would be included in the price."

5. "The beach was too sandy. We had to clean everything when we returned to our room."

6. "We found the sand was not like the sand in the brochure. Your brochure shows the sand as white but it was more yellow."

7. "It's lazy of the local shopkeepers in Puerto Vallartato close in the afternoons. I often needed to buy things during 'siesta' time -- this should be banned."

8. "No-one told us there would be fish in the water. The children were scared."

9. "Although the brochure said that there was a fully equipped kitchen, there was no egg-slicer in the drawers."

10. "I think it should be explained in the brochure that the local convenience store does not sell proper biscuits like custard creams or ginger nuts."

11. "The roads were uneven and bumpy, so we could not read the local guide book during the bus ride to the resort. Because of this, we were unaware of many things that would have made our holiday more fun."

12. "It took us nine hours to fly home from Jamaica to England. It took the Americans only three hours to get home. This seems unfair."

13. "I compared the size of our one-bedroom suite to our friends' three-bedroom and ours was significantly smaller."

14. "The brochure stated: 'No hairdressers at the resort.' We're trainee hairdressers and we think they knew and made us wait longer for service."

15. "When we were in Spain, there were too many Spanish people there. The receptionist spoke Spanish, the food was Spanish. No one told us that there would be so many foreigners."

16. "We had to line up outside to catch the boat and there was no air-conditioning."

17. "It is your duty as a tour operator to advise us of noisy or unruly guests before we travel."

18. "I was bitten by a mosquito. The brochure did not mention mosquitoes."

19. "My fiancée and I requested twin-beds when we booked, but instead we were placed in a room with a king bed. We now hold you responsible and want to be re-reimbursed for the fact that I became pregnant. This would not have happened if you had put us in the room that we booked."
Click to expand...
This sounds too outlandish to be true. Then again..........
 
RJSakowski said:
This sounds too outlandish to be true. Then again..........
Click to expand...
Having been in business for over 40 years, I think I've met every one of them.
Me to designer that wants a glass shelf to appear to have no support. "How is that supported? Her, that's your job you make it work. Me, would levitation be OK? Her, as long as it doesn't show."
Him, "I want all solid teak, no veneers." Me, "$$$ for the 8' long dining table." Him, "I can get one at Sears for way less than that."
When asked to go along and evaluate and antique store purchase: Big round "Oak" table. Me, "the veneer is loose in many places and missing along one edge." Her, " It's not veneered, the salesman told me it was solid oak."
 
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