Today's Joke - 2023 Mega Thread

[davek181]

 

[davek181]

 

[Geswearf]

 

[Gaffer]

A cowboy walks into a seedy old café in Wyoming.
He sits at the counter and notices an old cowboy with his arms folded staring blankly at a full bowl of meaty chili.
After a few minutes of just watching him staring at the chili, the young cowboy bravely asks the old cowboy, "If you ain't gonna eat that, mind if I do?"
The older cowboy slowly turns his head toward the young wrangler and in his best cowboy manner says, "Nah, you go ahead."
Eagerly, the young cowboy reaches over and slides the bowl over to his place and starts spooning it in with delight. He gets nearly down to the bottom and notices a dead mouse in the chili.
The sight was very shocking and he immediately barfs up the chili back into the bowl.
The old cowboy quietly says, "Yep, that's as far as I got, too”.

 

[silence dogood]

You fellows are familiar with Murphy's law. Let's place an addendum and I'll give the credit to Wawak. My wife does professional sewing and buys her commercial grade thread from this company. In her last shipment was this card that says:
Measure twice.
Cut once.
Curse.
Repeat.
This could apply to metal workers, wood workers, etc.
Hppy ew Year! &%^($# Now it just happened to my typeing.

 

[Mauzinette]

 

[Eddyde]

Or you found one right away and need a 2nd...

 

[Eddyde]

 

[Eddyde]

 

[Eddyde]