Today's Joke - 2023 Mega Thread

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JimDawson said:
Medicare Plan 'G' -Nursing Home Plan Say you are an 'older Senior Citizen' and can no longer take care of yourself and the government says there is no Nursing Home Care available to you. So, what do you do?? You opt for "Medicare Plan G". This plan gives anyone 75 or older a gun (Plan G) and one bullet. You are allowed to shoot one worthless politician. This means that you will be sent to prison for the rest of your life where you'll receive three meals a day, a roof over your head, central heating and air conditioning, cable TV, a library, and all the Health Care you need. Need new teeth, no problem. Need glasses, That's great. Need a hearing aid, new hip, knees, kidney, lungs, sex change, or a new heart? They all are covered! As an added bonus, your kids can come and visit you at least as often as they do now! Who will be paying for all of this??? The same Government that just told you they can't afford for you to go into a Nursing Home!! As an added bonus you will get rid of a useless politician while you are at it. Also, now, because you are a prisoner, you don't have to pay any more Income Taxes!! Is this a great country or what?? Now that I've solved your Senior Financial plan, enjoy the rest of your week....
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Woohoo! I just found my 'Plan B'... just in case 'Plan A' doesn't work out!

Thanks!

-Bear
 
JimDawson said:
Medicare Plan 'G' -Nursing Home Plan Say you are an 'older Senior Citizen' and can no longer take care of yourself and the government says there is no Nursing Home Care available to you. So, what do you do?? You opt for "Medicare Plan G". This plan gives anyone 75 or older a gun (Plan G) and one bullet. You are allowed to shoot one worthless politician. This means that you will be sent to prison for the rest of your life where you'll receive three meals a day, a roof over your head, central heating and air conditioning, cable TV, a library, and all the Health Care you need. Need new teeth, no problem. Need glasses, That's great. Need a hearing aid, new hip, knees, kidney, lungs, sex change, or a new heart? They all are covered! As an added bonus, your kids can come and visit you at least as often as they do now! Who will be paying for all of this??? The same Government that just told you they can't afford for you to go into a Nursing Home!! As an added bonus you will get rid of a useless politician while you are at it. Also, now, because you are a prisoner, you don't have to pay any more Income Taxes!! Is this a great country or what?? Now that I've solved your Senior Financial plan, enjoy the rest of your week....
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And more sex than you can even imagine.
 
JimDawson said:
Medicare Plan 'G' -Nursing Home Plan Say you are an 'older Senior Citizen' and can no longer take care of yourself and the government says there is no Nursing Home Care available to you. So, what do you do?? You opt for "Medicare Plan G". This plan gives anyone 75 or older a gun (Plan G) and one bullet. You are allowed to shoot one worthless politician. This means that you will be sent to prison for the rest of your life where you'll receive three meals a day, a roof over your head, central heating and air conditioning, cable TV, a library, and all the Health Care you need. Need new teeth, no problem. Need glasses, That's great. Need a hearing aid, new hip, knees, kidney, lungs, sex change, or a new heart? They all are covered! As an added bonus, your kids can come and visit you at least as often as they do now! Who will be paying for all of this??? The same Government that just told you they can't afford for you to go into a Nursing Home!! As an added bonus you will get rid of a useless politician while you are at it. Also, now, because you are a prisoner, you don't have to pay any more Income Taxes!! Is this a great country or what?? Now that I've solved your Senior Financial plan, enjoy the rest of your week....
Click to expand...
Yeah it looks like it might be a plan.

gizmodo.com

If you are elderly and poor, prison is better than a retirement home

If you are in old age, with no family and little money, your options are slim if you need living assistance. Wasting away at home is a tragic possibility
gizmodo.com gizmodo.com

Only thing is you want to do a nonviolent federal crime so you wind up in one of those cushy "Country Club" style joints....
 
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