Cheerleading

[woodchucker]

Ok, before I forcefully extricate myself from this conversation and get back to doing what I'm paid to do, I want to drop a new seed.

I said that I would be supportive if she decided to join. Then she joined. I was not expecting her to do that. Now I have to follow through. How do I do that? How do I support her doing something I absolutely don't believe in; something that fundamentally rubs me the wrong way?

you'll need to figure that out for yourself. When she asks you to come, GO. When she unloads on you about the Sh** that goes on, just listen. Most of the time she probably won't want an answer, she probably just wants to vent. The rest.. I don't have a great answer.

 

[mmcmdl]

you'll need to figure that out for yourself. When she asks you to come, GO. When she unloads on you about the Sh** that goes on, just listen. Most of the time she probably won't want an answer, she probably just wants to vent. The rest.. I don't have a great answer.

Yep . Pretty well sums it up . Becoming a hobby machinist to most people would seem like a stupid ambition to most yet we have 41,000 members on board . The majority of us wont make a dime off of it over our lifetime either . So , why do we do it ? Enjoyment . It should be any parents goal to see their child happy doing whatever brings enjoyment into their lives . Life is short and many spend what time they have being miserable . Bring on those pom poms .

 

[vtcnc]

My daughter is 15, turning 16 in a few months.

I am self aware enough to know that my opinions are tainted with bitterness and are formed mostly by my own unsatisfactory high school experience, but I don't think that invalidates them. My opinion on high school hasn't changed a bit since I graduated 18 years ago. I think the wholesale worship of football players is unhealthy, most of all for the players themselves. We turn them into living legends at age 17 and by the time they're 19 most of them will be nobodies. How much sense does that make? How does that set these young men up for success in life? And I thought we were supposed to all about empowering women these days; how does that jive with reinforcing the traditional gender hierarchy, making the pinnacle of social status a young woman can hope to achieve, be a tool of exaltation of practitioners of a sport that girls aren't even allowed to play?

Looking for feedback on this. Am I being a stick in the mud? Should I just be blindly supportive of whatever school-sanctioned activity my kids become interested in, no matter my own opinions, and no matter their motivations? Is that what a good parent does? (serious question). I mean, I know this is a small thing in the big picture; I could have much worse problems on my hands. My wife was pregnant at the age my daughter is right now.

I have four boys, so take ALL of this with a grain of salt. I don't have a daughter so I can only begin to relate. At one point in time, I had a boss who said he would trade me straight up for my 3 boys for his 3 girls, and his were all adults and out of college.

Honest feedback for you? You are kind of being a stick in the mud.

Honest feedback for her? I tell my boys, once you start something, you aren't allowed to quit. Cheerleading is a big commitment.

Boys and girls have a lot more in common than they do differences, especially when it comes to social matters in this day and age.

- She gets to be on a team.
- She gets a sense of independence.
- She gets to see what it is like to achieve something, and on the flip side, let people down and how to recover from disappointments.
- She will get to have a lot of fun.

This is the only time she gets to be 16, just because you had a bad experience doesn't mean she will. As parents our biggest challenge is to find ways to help them navigate, on their own, all of the challenges life will present, rather than avoid them. Depriving her of these life experiences doesn't help her in this way.

 

[vtcnc]

My son plays hockey, I used to ski, but my fall and winters for the past 11 years have been tied up with traveling every weekend to games all over the state, not being able to go away at Christmas because of tournaments, many doctors visits, etc. My son is now a senior in high school, his last season ends in a few weeks and I am going to miss it, a lot. I don’t wish for a second we did anything different.

I hear you, but damn, we just couldn't afford the travel after a couple of years. We had to bail on hockey with our first son. I wish we had found a way to stick with it, I regret it to this day.

With that said, only one guy from Saint Albans made it to the NHL more than 20 years ago. And you wouldn't believe how crazy this town is about hockey and how many think their kid is going to the NHL.

 

[FOMOGO]

Get her a Bridgeport and call it good. Mike

 

[vtcnc]

Ok, before I forcefully extricate myself from this conversation and get back to doing what I'm paid to do, I want to drop a new seed.

I said that I would be supportive if she decided to join. Then she joined. I was not expecting her to do that. Now I have to follow through. How do I do that? How do I support her doing something I absolutely don't believe in; something that fundamentally rubs me the wrong way?

Oof. That's tough. Sounds like the football stuff left some scars. Wouldn't be a bad thing to talk it over with someone but somehow you have got to figure out how to not let the ego, pride, memories, emotions overshadow the present experience.

That stuff is in the past, your challenge is to keep it there because your past YOU will ruin the experience for your present YOU and your daughter.

Sorry if this is too zen, but that is the way this crap works.

Here is another way to think about it. You know how you said those football players were nobodies now? If you know they should not be stuck in the past reliving the not-so-glory days then why should you be stuck there too?

 

[vtcnc]

Get her a Bridgeport and call it good. Mike

Best advice of the day.

 

[matthewsx]

My high school experience also wasn't the greatest, I didn't even get to take the machine tool technology course I wanted cause my dad said I had to take chemistry instead.

Now that I'm older I understand exactly why my dad didn't want that for me (factory work, he was an engineer).

My wife and I were honest with our daughter about our high school experiences and how they shaped us. The daughter ended up being on the homecoming court, captain of the volleyball team, and valedictorian. She choose those things for herself, (except the homecoming court) and we couldn't have been happier.

With all the things kids could get into these days cheerleading seems pretty harmless and in the age of "me too" it might even be very different experience than when you were young. Bottom line, parenting is hard. Just be honest and always there for your kids and be willing to admit when you make a mistake.

I love this community for the chance to share all kinds of experiences. This kind of honest online exchange is a rare thing in the age of social media shouting....

John

 

[MikeInOr]

Ok, before I forcefully extricate myself from this conversation and get back to doing what I'm paid to do, I want to drop a new seed.

I said that I would be supportive if she decided to join. Then she joined. I was not expecting her to do that. Now I have to follow through. How do I do that? How do I support her doing something I absolutely don't believe in; something that fundamentally rubs me the wrong way?

Don't ask us... sit down, have an open conversation and ASK HER! Just honestly and openly asking her how you can best support her in cheerleading will go a VERY long way to letting her know you are there for her!

 

[Aaron_W]

Here is another way to think about it. You know how you said those football players were nobodies now? If you know they should not be stuck in the past reliving the not-so-glory days then why should you be stuck there too?