- Joined
- Jul 29, 2014
- Messages
- 2,847
My experience is that if I had to use logical arguments on the kids, I was toast.
Listen to what she has to say. Don't trap her, give her a chance to think about it before she replies. Make it a discussion not an argument. If she says she is going to pass on the beer, cigarette and football player is she sure? Is she sure she has the confidence in herself to not be one of the crowd and participate in the activities that she knows isn't right? If she is then it is your turn to ask what YOU can do to support HER? What can you do to help her to stay out of trouble and be her own person instead one of just one of the "in" crowd? If she does start to get into trouble are you going to be there for her to come to for help without "I told you so!"? If you are planning on being there for support with out the "I told you so" tell her that! Then STICK TO IT! Tell her that you will love her no matter "WHAT"! ...but there are several "what's" that you would really like both of you to steer around and hopefully avoid.
I can almost guarantee that the conversation as you described it went in one ear then out the other and probably pushed her into signing up for cheerleading more than making her think twice about it.
I also went this route . All of my children (3) played sports . Baseball , soccer , basketball , football , lacrosse to name a few . We traveled the country for tournaments for family vacations for years , met many new friends , went to places we would never had seen , collected many memories . These were the best of times in my view . It has also led to employment for my daughter and contacts across the nation for my sons . My daughter coached her college basketball team for 3 years before working for the Lacrosse Hall of Fame presently . Many of my sons friends are now pro scouts for Major League Baseball teams here as well as the north of the border teams . Cough cough , he lives on Blue Jay Way now up in Toronto . I ended up with my 45 acres up in New York above Cooperstown because of the Dream Park Tournaments we attended every year also . Do I miss these times ? You bet I do . My daughter may have the decision to make if she wants to coach her alma mater once again . I told her she would have my support 110% and she would also have an assistant coach by her side . This Wednesday night is her final recruited class's senior night at the college , and my entire family will be there . The team which was always at the top of the Centennial Conference for years has basically fallen apart after the entire coaching staff left . It would be fun to turn it back around .My son plays hockey, I used to ski, but my fall and winters for the past 11 years have been tied up with traveling every weekend to games all over the state, not being able to go away at Christmas because of tournaments, many doctors visits, etc. My son is now a senior in high school, his last season ends in a few weeks and I am going to miss it, a lot. I don’t wish for a second we did anything different.