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WMello
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My email password has been hacked. That's the third time I've had to rename the cat.
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2017 Archive
- Thread starter Frank Ford
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Bill Gruby
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Went to the zoo today, There was only one dog.
It was a "Shih Tzu"
"Billy G"
It was a "Shih Tzu"
"Billy G"
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- Aug 22, 2012
- Messages
- 4,255
A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller.
He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patricia Whack
"Miss Whack, I'd like to get a $30,000 loan to take a holiday."
Pattie looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name.
The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it's okay, he knows the bank manager.
Pattie explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral.
The frog says "Sure.I have this," and produces a tiny porcelain elephant, about half an inch tall - bright pink and perfectly formed.
Very confused, Pattie explains that she'll have to consult with the bank manager and disappears into a back office.
She finds the manager and says, "There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000, and he wants to use this as collateral."
She holds up the tiny pink elephant. "I mean, what in the world is this?"
The bank manager looks back at her and says..."It's a knick-knack, Pattie Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone."
He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patricia Whack
"Miss Whack, I'd like to get a $30,000 loan to take a holiday."
Pattie looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name.
The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it's okay, he knows the bank manager.
Pattie explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral.
The frog says "Sure.I have this," and produces a tiny porcelain elephant, about half an inch tall - bright pink and perfectly formed.
Very confused, Pattie explains that she'll have to consult with the bank manager and disappears into a back office.
She finds the manager and says, "There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000, and he wants to use this as collateral."
She holds up the tiny pink elephant. "I mean, what in the world is this?"
The bank manager looks back at her and says..."It's a knick-knack, Pattie Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone."
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Bill Gruby
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Bravo - Bravo Charles. My wife will laugh all day now.
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Bill Gruby
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I just read that 4,153,237 people got married last year. Kinda makes you think, shouldn't that be an even number?
"Billy G"
"Billy G"
It was a day in the life of a big engineering works in the North of England, that specialised in large gas works machinery, One of the turners old Bert was machining a big 100 foot dia x 100 foot high gas holder from a solid casting, on the firms biggest faceplate lathe. Old Bert had been machining it for forty years, It was the last day , Bert was taking the final cut across the curved top of the large gas holder, when disaster struck, his tool dug in and tore a big lump out of the finished job.
Bert slunk up the shop and told the foreman of the disaster , The foreman replied " For Gods sake Bert , How did that happen?, Go round and see Fred the labourer , and tell him to get you a replacement casting from the store, & if you scrap that one you will get your damned jotters!
Bert slunk up the shop and told the foreman of the disaster , The foreman replied " For Gods sake Bert , How did that happen?, Go round and see Fred the labourer , and tell him to get you a replacement casting from the store, & if you scrap that one you will get your damned jotters!
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- Mar 19, 2011
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Doctor called, and said "I've got some bad news, and some really bad news."
The patient said, "What's the bad news?"
Doctor said, "You've got 24 hours to live."
"Oh, no! What's the really bad news?"
"I meant to call you yesterday."
The patient said, "What's the bad news?"
Doctor said, "You've got 24 hours to live."
"Oh, no! What's the really bad news?"
"I meant to call you yesterday."
- Joined
- Aug 22, 2012
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- 4,255
“In awe, I watched the waxing moon ride across the zenith of the heavens like an ambered chariot towards the ebony void of infinite space, wherein the tethered belts of Jupiter and Mars hang forever festooned in their orbital majesty.
And as I looked at all this I thought: ‘I must put a roof over this toilet’.”
And as I looked at all this I thought: ‘I must put a roof over this toilet’.”
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