2017 Archive

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What did the Pink Panther say when he saw a dead ant?

Dead ant, dead ant, dead ant, dead ant, dead ant,...
 
How can you tell a boy chromasome from a girl chromasome?

Pull down their genes.
 
Savarin, I'm sure there must be laws against jokes like that, which makes you a criminal of the highest order. Cheers, Mike
 
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson decide to go on a camping trip. After dinner and a bottle of wine, they lay down for the night, and go to sleep.
Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend.
"Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."
Watson replied, "I see millions of stars."
"What does that tell you?"
Watson pondered for a minute.
"Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets."
"Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo."
"Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three."
"Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow."
"What does it tell you, Holmes?"

Holmes was silent for a minute, then spoke: "Watson, you idiot. Someone has stolen our tent!"
 
In a Catholic school cafeteria, a nun places a note in front of a pile of apples, "Only take one. God is watching." Further down the line is a pile of cookies. A little boy makes his own note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."
 
A farmer was having a problem with people stealing watermelons from his field so he put a sign out that said "One of these melons has been poisoned" and thought that would stop the thief. Over night someone added "Now two of them are poisoned."
 
You can never lose a homing pigeon - if your homing pigeon doesn't come back, what you've lost is a pigeon.
 
It just had to happen. It was written in the stars. The prophecy is fulfilled. THE GROANERS HAVE ARRIVED.

"Billy G"
 
where does the Lone Ranger take his garbage?

to the dump, to the dump, to the dump dump dump
 
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