Today's Joke - 2023 Mega Thread

[woodchucker]

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Don't eat the Elephants.. !!!! damn it.

 

[woodchucker]

Apparently my buddy on a binge stuck 10 little plastic horses up his butt for a joke and got rushed to the ER . When I contacted his wife , she said not to worry , he was in stable condition .

That was your friend? We all had a good laugh in the ER. His farts had the typical horse sound.

 

[RJSakowski]

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Ahha! Now I know where all those 10 mm sockets are going!

 

[NCjeeper]

 

[Gaffer]

 

[Just for fun]

Dave went over to Joe’s house one evening for a visit. After a bit they decided to play a couple rounds of cribbage. As they were playing, Joe’s wife sat down at the table to watch and join the conversation. Well, Dave dropped a card, when he leaned over to pick it up he saw that she wasn’t wearing any undies.
After the game when he was getting ready to leave, she asked him if he saw something under the table and if he liked it. Oh, yes he replied.
She told him that Joe was playing golf all day tomorrow, so he should come by around 2:00 PM; but it would cost him $500 bucks. Well things went pretty good.
Joe returned from his golf game around 5:00 PM, and asked if Dave stopped by. She got a huge lump in her throat, Joe then asked if he left $500 bucks. Oh crap she thought…..but answered yes he did. Joe says oh great,, he stopped by the golf course this morning and borrowed $500 from me and said he would drop it off with you this afternoon.

 

[Gaffer]

 

[Eddyde]

 

[Eddyde]

 

[Eddyde]