It seems like the 'heating moment' where everything is hunky dory is quite a sweet spot. I am getting things over red, too hot and the silver is not running it's getting red and not running or pooling.
Note, the right temp for typical silver brazing alloys is barely glowing at all, you can't even see it in bright light. If your steel is noticeably glowing then you're probably too hot. The flux becoming molten and clear is your best temperature indicator.
Bring it all up to temperature as evenly as you can so that when you touch the silver to it, it wicks around everywhere by capillary action. Sometimes for a thick piece, you need to hold it at that temp for a while, to let the heat "soak in" to the thicker sections.
But don't dawdle either, the clock is ticking — you're usng up your flux — so do try to git 'er done as rapidly as you can, consistent with full penetration. This takes practice, so don't feel bad about roasting your first few trial pieces.
Stainless is extra tricky, not just because of the oxide layer, but also in the heating phase due to relatively low conductivity of SS, makes it easier to burn it locally while trying to get it evenly hot. Keep the torch moving, don't point it at any one spot. Catch the localized over-heating early and push some molten flux over the place that got too hot — hopefully some fresh flux will lift whatever oxidation you got where you overcooked the original flux. If there's ever burnt flux where you need the silver to flow, the silver will
not flow there, and if some fresh flux can't clean it, then you will have to cool that part, soak the flux off, and completely clean the burnt area down to shiny steel and start again. Some burnt parts cannot be saved and will have to be tossed and re-made.