What Really Gets Up Your Nose?

[savarin]

A good rant really gets it off the chest and makes you feel better.
So here is one of mine.

I've become totally fed up with all those stupid little stickers affixed to fruit these days.

So I decided to make up a RANT about it.


What the hell is wrong with the world today? We are bombarded with posters, messages, warnings and other useless information from stupid prats polishing their fat backsides in government sponsored offices, whilst sitting on comfy safety approved, back supporting, non tipping chairs, dreaming up more ways to protect idiotic bloody morons from their own stupidity thus allowing them to spread their defective genes further abroad in society thus increasing the signal to noise ratio in the general population.
They mean absolutely diddly squat to those of us with more than two neurons to rub together and do sweet nothing to aid us in our everyday lives, in fact they just confuse the hell out of most of us.

All my fruit has a sticker on it telling me what it is as if I didnt have a damn clue what the hell I was purchasing.
I need a lemon for my gin and tonic but unfortunately I'm a clueless moron, I have no bloody idea of what a lemon looks like, I had better look at all these tiny stupid labels on all these different fruits to make sure I get a lemon and not a bloody jack-fruit.
Give me a break please!
And to add insult to injury all these highly informative but utterly useless stickers are so small I need a damn microscope to actually read the useless stupid things in the first place, as if I carried one of those around when I go shopping. (there's probably a law preventing it anyway) If I didn't know what the fruit was in the first place or even what it damn well looked like why the hell would I want to purchase it.
And then just to really stir the pot the non dissolving space age adhesive holding this useless microscopic information sheet to the fruit allowed the paper to be peeled off but remained behind as a sticky patch to taint my refreshing gin and tonic.

 

[Steve Shannon]

Those stickers are there to tell the low-paid checker what it is and what the unit price is in the price database. Although the sign above the box of apples says "Gala" or "Fuji" when you pick it out, by the time it gets to checkout one Apple may look like another to someone who sees hundreds in a day.


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

 

[Holescreek]

A good rant really gets it off the chest and makes you feel better.
So here is one of mine.

I've become totally fed up with all those stupid little stickers affixed to fruit these days.

So I decided to make up a RANT about it.


What the hell is wrong with the world today? We are bombarded with posters, messages, warnings and other useless information from stupid prats polishing their fat backsides in government sponsored offices, whilst sitting on comfy safety approved, back supporting, non tipping chairs, dreaming up more ways to protect idiotic bloody morons from their own stupidity thus allowing them to spread their defective genes further abroad in society thus increasing the signal to noise ratio in the general population.
They mean absolutely diddly squat to those of us with more than two neurons to rub together and do sweet nothing to aid us in our everyday lives, in fact they just confuse the hell out of most of us.

All my fruit has a sticker on it telling me what it is as if I didnt have a damn clue what the hell I was purchasing.
I need a lemon for my gin and tonic but unfortunately I'm a clueless moron, I have no bloody idea of what a lemon looks like, I had better look at all these tiny stupid labels on all these different fruits to make sure I get a lemon and not a bloody jack-fruit.
Give me a break please!
And to add insult to injury all these highly informative but utterly useless stickers are so small I need a damn microscope to actually read the useless stupid things in the first place, as if I carried one of those around when I go shopping. (there's probably a law preventing it anyway) If I didn't know what the fruit was in the first place or even what it damn well looked like why the hell would I want to purchase it.
And then just to really stir the pot the non dissolving space age adhesive holding this useless microscopic information sheet to the fruit allowed the paper to be peeled off but remained behind as a sticky patch to taint my refreshing gin and tonic.

This is a much better read if you imagine it being said in Andy Rooney's high pitch whining voice. Try it -you'll see!

 

[FOMOGO]

What Really Gets Up Your Nose?

Well, back in the 80's, no, I guess we won't go there. Certainly plenty to get one riled up out there if you choose to go that route, but as of late I'm making a concerted effort to take a more Zen approach to all the useless static out in the world. As we all have a shorter and shorter time to enjoy ourselves on this spinning orb it seems counter productive to let the noise get to us. If there is something I can do about it without becoming a martyr, and if it is of sufficient interest to me I will give it a go. If not I just let it float on past endeavoring to let it have as close to zero impact on my life as possible. I have to agree though, There is absolutely no excuse for the tainting of one's G&T. Cheers, Mike

 

[turnitupper]

Zen be buggered.
Take labels off everything, including those stupid warning stickers, and let Darwin's theory have full reign.
John.
P.S. Switch to Rum and Coke. although G&T is a lovely drink on a hot day (or a cold night)

 

[savarin]

Hi FOMOGO,
just in case your a G&T fan here is my recipe

1 large glass litre stein (German beer glass)
good quality gin of choice
1 whole lemon
good quality tonic (not diet)
Thick handled wooden spoon
veg peeler
lemon juicer
ice cubes

Method
place gin in freezer for at least 2 hours
place tonic in freezer until its almost starting to freeze but hasnt.
place litre stein in freezer
Peel the zest off the lemon
juice the lemon and place in the freezer but dont let it freeze
remove stein, place zest in bottom and pound with the handle of the wooden spoon
add ice cubes 1/4 full, pour lemon juice over the ice, pour the gin on top to the strength you like, (at least 5 measures) top up with the tonic, stir once or twice consume as required.
Because everything is so much colder than usual it tastes out of this world and you can truthfully say you only had one drink.

 

[CluelessNewB]

One of our local grocery stores seems to focus on hiring the most clueless teens as checkout clerks. Most of them can't tell the difference between a lemon and a grapefruit. They pick up something in a bag and hold it out with two fingers like it is bag of excitement and ask with a look of disgust "whats this"? (OMG it's fresh ginger root)

We have another store that has checkout clerks of similar age but they are almost the exact opposite. I was floored one day when one of these checkout clerks told me how they had made broccoli rabe (Rapini) and sausage for his family the night before.

 

[savarin]

Heres another one.
I just bought a packet of salt labeled "rock salt-evaporated sea salt".
Eh? WHAT THE HELL IS IT? its either rock salt or bloody sea salt, make your moronic mind up.
Whats the difference between the two you may well ask?
Sweet f/a basically.
If its white its pure, if it has any other colour it has other stuff in it such as iron, calcium, petrified bacteria or algae.
In fact its all bloody sea salt, or it was once upon a time millions of sodding years ago.
And then, as if the description wasnt stupid enough on its own it had a best before date on the plastic packet.
A best before date" WHAT IN THE NAME OF ALL SCREWUPS ?????? Its bloody salt, it wont go off in a million years, the stupid everlasting, un-openable, un-degradable plastic packet will rot down and convert back to oil before any sodding thing happens to the salt.
Rock salt was laid down fricking millions of years ago, its a bloody Triassic fossil, its older than your granny, it preserves stuff and prevents what its mixed with from going bad for christ's sake, people have been using it for thousands of years to preserve their foods. Best before my butt! Get bloody real and use the neurons you possess rather than relying on some pathetic advertising prats utter claptrap to make your purchasing decisions for you.

Listen to this - a man after my own heart. I know exactly how he feels.

 

[dirty tools]

Most of the STUPID stuff can be traced back to that BIMBO who spilled hot coffee on her self then sued Mc for serving her hot coffee.

 

[eugene13]

I Quote Forrest Gump, stupid is as stupid does, i think its a yin yang thing, ya gotta have stupid people in order to have smart people.