Today's Jokes - 2024

In every relationship there is one person who stacks the dishwasher like a Scandinavian architect, and one who stacks it like a racoon on crystal meth.


Seamus was about to tee off on the first hole when a second golfer (Paddy) approached and asked if he could join him. Seamus said that he usually played alone, but agreed to the twosome.

They were even after the first few holes.Paddy said, "We're about evenly matched, how about playing for £5.00 a hole?"
Seamus said that he wasn't much for betting, but agreed.
Paddy easily won the remaining 16 holes. They walked off number eighteen while Paddy counted his £80.00. He then confessed that he was the pro at a neighboring course and “liked to pick on suckers.”
Seamus, shocked, revealed that he was the Parish Priest.
Paddy the pro was flustered and apologetic and offered to return the money.
Seamus replied, "You won fair and square I was foolish to bet with you. Keep your winnings."
An embarrassed Paddy asked, "Please, is there anything I can do to make it up to you?"
Seamus replied, "Well, you could come to Mass on Sunday and make a donation. And, if you want to bring your Mother and Father along I'll marry them.
 

That is from, at the time, a Virgin west coast Train in the UK, so it is Either from a class 390 Pendolino (referred to as a bendy-dildo) or a class 220 Voyager /class 221 Super Voyager AKA "fat fryer"

"West Coast" is a term used for the mainline running North along the Western side of the central spine of Engalnd between London (Euston Station) and then over the border into Glasgow station in Scotland.
 
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