An explanation is due.

snoopdog said:
If you haven't noticed, I haven't been a regular poster for about a year. My sweet and lovely wife of 17 years, and companion of 28, decided to call it quits last june. I'm no saint, but the argument that seems to be the final straw, was so insignificantly silly, that I still can't believe it. We have been through much worse. I have been severely depressed with this, and having to get rid of my cows because of the back injury. Now we are heading into a phase, where I stand to lose almost everything I've worked for, or at least half, and at almost 60, I'm not sure any of it is worth fussing over. There is more, but idk.
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I doubt it but my brother in Tulsa might be interested in your cows..
 
francist said:
That’s too bad, snoopdog. That’s been a rough spell for you for sure. Wish I had some wise words of advice but I’ve been on my own for many years now. I think Mike said it well enough, “this too shall pass”, even though it’s rotten while you’re waiting for that to happen.

It’s good that you stopped by to check in and play a game or two, you’re among friends here.

-frank
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I know that, and this is the only place I would ever bring it up, everyone here is solid, thanks.
 
Hang in there snoop.

If the argument was the "final straw" it fell onto a load of previously accumulated straw.
From as far back as I can remember (teens?) I believed that "communication" is fundamental to achieving an intimate relationship.

After many trials and tribulations, I now believe that "communication" is an inadequate description.

We often use words, but often that does not actually resolve the issue. By the way, I call those issues "seeds of discontent". If we don't actually resolve the issues, they can grow like weeds.

My new goal is to "achieve a common understanding". If persons debate in good faith, achieve a common understanding, even if they agree to disagree, they can put the issue in it's proper place (priority?) and not have unresolved issues pile up and fester (I hope). YMMV
 
extropic said:
Hang in there snoop.

If the argument was the "final straw" it fell onto a load of previously accumulated straw.
From as far back as I can remember (teens?) I believed that "communication" is fundamental to achieving an intimate relationship.

After many trials and tribulations, I now believe that "communication" is an inadequate description.

We often use words, but often that does not actually resolve the issue. By the way, I call those issues "seeds of discontent". If we don't actually resolve the issues, they can grow like weeds.

My new goal is to "achieve a common understanding". If persons debate in good faith, achieve a common understanding, even if they agree to disagree, they can put the issue in it's proper place (priority?) and not have unresolved issues pile up and fester (I hope). YMMV
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Sage words indeed extropic. My present wife(massive upgrade from the one who left me after 30yrs together) calls those “seeds of discontent” R’s for resentments. She would always be checking to see if I had a R and would tell me she was getting an R about something. She explained when we first got together “R’s kill”. That concept has made for our life together truly peaceful which is everything to me. Especially after living with a chaotic gaslighter for 30yrs with not a second of peace. It did almost kill me.

It took a while after she left but the first thing I got grateful for was she left me because it’s just not in my DNA to leave. That truly turned my life around after basically losing 95% of everything. That first seed of gratefulness led to me being grateful for the crappy roof over my son and my heads and not too long after that my miracle SO showed up. You wouldn’t believe me if I told you where I was then and where I am now. Not just night and day, a completely different reality.
 
For the short time I've been here I too have noticed there are a lot of good people.

I'm not facing exactly what you have. But I've had to start over in a manner of speaking very recently. Just got to soldier on my man. Think of moving away, getting away from your present surroundings. Maybe far away, like a big city, loads of jobs sometimes. I wish you all the best.
 
Snoopdog, Sorry to hear this. I empathize having been there myself a couple of times. It's never easy to going through but better times are ahead. I found getting into a large project or taking a trip helps in getting your mind clear.
 
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