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2022
- Thread starter RandyM
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For Savarin. Cheers, Mike
I have a few jokes about unemployed people, but none of them work.
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"I have a split personality," said Tom, being Frank.
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I renamed my iPod The Titanic, so when I plug it in, it says “The Titanic is syncing.”
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Will glass coffins be a success? Remains to be seen.
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It's hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they always take things literally.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a zippo? One is really heavy and the other is a little lighter
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Hear about the new restaurant called Karma? There’s no menu - you get what you deserve.
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What do you call a bee that can’t make up its mind? A maybe.
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I tried to sue the airline for losing my luggage. I lost my case.
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Is it ignorance or apathy that's destroying the world today? I don't know and don't really care.
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I wasn’t originally going to get a brain transplant, but then I changed my mind.
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Which country’s capital has the fastest-growing population? Ireland. Every day it’s Dublin.
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My ex-wife still misses me. But her aim is starting to improve.
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I have a few jokes about unemployed people, but none of them work.
----------------------------------------------------
"I have a split personality," said Tom, being Frank.
----------------------------------------------------
I renamed my iPod The Titanic, so when I plug it in, it says “The Titanic is syncing.”
----------------------------------------------------
Will glass coffins be a success? Remains to be seen.
----------------------------------------------------
It's hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they always take things literally.
----------------------------------------------------
What’s the difference between a hippo and a zippo? One is really heavy and the other is a little lighter
----------------------------------------------------
Hear about the new restaurant called Karma? There’s no menu - you get what you deserve.
----------------------------------------------------
What do you call a bee that can’t make up its mind? A maybe.
----------------------------------------------------
I tried to sue the airline for losing my luggage. I lost my case.
----------------------------------------------------
Is it ignorance or apathy that's destroying the world today? I don't know and don't really care.
----------------------------------------------------
I wasn’t originally going to get a brain transplant, but then I changed my mind.
----------------------------------------------------
Which country’s capital has the fastest-growing population? Ireland. Every day it’s Dublin.
----------------------------------------------------
My ex-wife still misses me. But her aim is starting to improve.
----------------------------------------------------
Joe heard The Legend that his father, grandfather and
great-grandfather had all walked on water on their 21st birthdays.
So, on his 21st birthday, Joe and his good friend Brian headed out to the lake.
"If they did it, I can too!" he insisted.
When Joe and Brian arrived at the lake,
they rented a boat and began paddling.
When the got to the middle of the lake,
Joe stepped off of the side of the boat...
and damn near drowned.
Furious and somewhat shamed, he and Brian headed for home.
When Joe arrived back at the family farm,
he asked his grandmother for an explanation.
"Grandma, why can I not walk on water like the Legend of my father,
and his father, and his father before him?"
The feeble old grandmother took Joe by the hands,
looked into his eyes, and explained,
"That's because your father, grandfather and
great-grandfather were born in January...
you were born in July, dear."
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great-grandfather had all walked on water on their 21st birthdays.
So, on his 21st birthday, Joe and his good friend Brian headed out to the lake.
"If they did it, I can too!" he insisted.
When Joe and Brian arrived at the lake,
they rented a boat and began paddling.
When the got to the middle of the lake,
Joe stepped off of the side of the boat...
and damn near drowned.
Furious and somewhat shamed, he and Brian headed for home.
When Joe arrived back at the family farm,
he asked his grandmother for an explanation.
"Grandma, why can I not walk on water like the Legend of my father,
and his father, and his father before him?"
The feeble old grandmother took Joe by the hands,
looked into his eyes, and explained,
"That's because your father, grandfather and
great-grandfather were born in January...
you were born in July, dear."
Like Quote Reply
Report
I had to think about that and read it about 4 times before I got it. Perhaps it is because
1. I am in the southern hemisphere.
2. The weather here never goes below 16c
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