I think this is probably the main reason I was having trouble. I also had much better results with indexable carbide which also made me realize my feed / chip load per tooth was probably too low for the solid EM. I think I was too conservative as I'm more used to using HSS and thought that charging in at high IPM would be bad. Nope!
No coolant; my mill isn't configured to handle it (no collection tray and whatnot). I would like to get a fogbuster setup at some point though.
Anyway, an update:
I switched to a 3/4" 3FL indexable carbide and woah: big difference. Chips a more normal blue color, zero sparking. I did have to use a small DOC (0.060") to avoid chatter. These inserts are designed for up to a ~0.375" DOC but I couldn't come anywhere near that in the 4140. I'm sure I could do better DOC with some tuning and if I shorten the EM. Here's a vid of the cutter in 1018 from the previous owner who I bought the mill from; looks to be about a 0.120"? DOC:
This feed rate is so much faster than the HSS than I'm used to...guess you just gotta send it.
I also tried out a 2", 4 insert indexable face mill using params from FS Wizard. Small DOC (0.040") but decent MRR due to the full 2" WOC. This one made perfect chips dark straw-to-blue and nice chip formation...really cut like a dream.
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I plan to buy a couple new solid carbide EMs since I would like to get a higher DOC for certain ops. I was getting pretty frustrated earlier thinking I might have to abandon this particular project; glad to be on-track.