Today's Jokes - 2024

[Dhal22]

 

[Dhal22]

Kohls has some odd skill sets:

 

[GrifterGuru]

Does a straw have 1 hole or 2?

How long is a piece of string?

 

[savarin]

A length of string goes up to the bar and orders a beer.
The barman says "We dont serve string here, are you a piece of string?"
The string replies
"No, I'm afaid not"

 

[GrifterGuru]

A length of string goes up to the bar and orders a beer.
The barman says "We dont serve string here, are you a piece of string?"
The string replies
"No, I'm afaid not"

:doh!: :HEADSLAP:

 

[Inferno]

Speaking of straws...

Has anyone ever realized you're basically a tube connecting your mouth to your butt?

 

[higgite]

A guy walks into a bar waving his pistol and says, “”Somebody in here has been diddling my wife and I’m here to find out who it is ‘cause I’m going to shoot'em dead.”

A voice from the back of the room booms out,”You didn’t bring enough ammunition!”

Tom

 

[woodchucker]

Speaking of straws...

Has anyone ever realized you're basically a tube connecting your mouth to your butt?

a curly straw.

 

[finsruskw]

:doh!: :HEADSLAP:

I'm a frayed knot.

 

[Eddyde]

^^Reminds me of the one about the guy who's talking to his dying friend.
"Hey buddy, after I'm gone could you do me one favor?"
"Of course bro anything you want"
"Please pour a bottle of the finest Scotch Whiskey over my grave"
"No problem bro, consider it done"
"Thanks I knew I could count on you"
"Er, I hope you don't mind if I pass it through my kidneys first"...