- Joined
- Oct 13, 2014
- Messages
- 9,633
Here's the story of the "Best" cup of coffee I ever had.
Back in the mid 90's I had a custom woodworking shop in Brooklyn, I also did contracting. Along the way I acquired the contents of a doctors office, I had renovated. Some of the stuff was useful in the shop, metal cabinets, lights and such, the rest of it was shoved in a corner and collected dust for few years… Around that time a store opened up across the street. It was a mash-up of used furniture and a Cafe. The owner would frequently stop by the shop scrounging for scraps of wood, asking advice on finishing, etc, to make repairs on his furniture. He was about a decade younger than me, in his twenties but was nice and I was happy to help him out.
The guy frequently ask buy the metal cabinets, from the doctors office I now used to store tools. Of course, I always refused. One day I got tired of his nagging and showed him the pile of the other stuff liberated from the doctors office. His eyes lit up when he saw it, a 1940’s vintage exam table/bench. It was well made of Mahogany and leather, and in very good condition for its age. It even had the “Stirrups” for gyno exams and a slide out step at the bottom… “Oh man, that would make a great sex bench” he exclaimed. I chuckled as we often joked around the shop about that prospective use, as well. “How much you want” Me “I’ll let it go for a hundred” “Wa! too much, I cant pay that” Just then, my business partner Philippe, walked in. “Yeah man get that f'ing thing out of here already, we need the space” he said in his thick French accent.
“Okay how about $50?” I offered. The guy looked crestfallen “Well my wife forbid me to buy anymore furniture and I don’t have $50, couldn’t you just give it to me?” “Ah no way for free man, I know there’s some kinky weirdo out there that would easily pay $500 for it (though the thought of actually finding such a person was quite daunting)” Okay how about a trade” the guy begged. “What you got?” “Coffee, I’ll give you guys each a cup of my best coffee, every day for a month, that’s worth well over a hundred dollars” “huh, how so, a cup of coffee is like .75c I retorted. “Oh I charge $2.50 for this cup, its really special, I’ll bet its the best coffee you ever tasted” Philippe and I talked for a second and agreed to the trade. We then proceeded to help the guy move the sex bench to his shop.
As promised, the guy, started making us our first coffees, a solid 10 minutes of grinding, steam, gurgling and sputtering sounds ensued. The heavenly aroma filled the room and could have probably woken the dead. He finally presented the coffee to us. The first sip was life changing, Intense deep, rich full of flavor, without being bitter yet strong, yes, very strong. It was indeed the best coffee I had ever had tasted then, or since…
Philippe and I were sipping our coffees and musing over the now obvious, great deal we had made for the bench, when two attractive young women walked Into the store. “Hi honey” the guy greeted. “What the f@#k is that thing?” One of the women shouted “I told you no more buying any crap, we can’t even pay the f@#ing electric bill” “Look babe, its a sex bench” the guy triumphantly exclaimed, while feverishly extending the stirrups. “If you think I’m f@#king you on that thing you’re f@#’n crazy” the look of rage on her face changing to horror. She turned to her friend “Can you believe what this f@#’n idiot thinks, would you get on that f@#’n thing” the other woman just slowly shook her head in utter disgust. “But hon, I didn’t pay anything for it, I just traded it for some coffees, he pleaded. “I don’t care, get it the f@#k out of here, its gross and disgusting, either it goes or I go” as she stormed off into the back room her friend silently following.
As Philippe and I were heading out the door, I turned to the guy “we’ll see you tomorrow, um, I hope?” “Yeah man, she’ll cool down in a bit, a deal is a deal”…
The next day Philippe and I staggered into the shop, both of us looking very bedraggled “you sleep?” “No not a minute, You?” “No not at all” Oh s@#t it must have been that f@#’n coffee!”
We never went back for another cup, and the store closed down a few months later.
Back in the mid 90's I had a custom woodworking shop in Brooklyn, I also did contracting. Along the way I acquired the contents of a doctors office, I had renovated. Some of the stuff was useful in the shop, metal cabinets, lights and such, the rest of it was shoved in a corner and collected dust for few years… Around that time a store opened up across the street. It was a mash-up of used furniture and a Cafe. The owner would frequently stop by the shop scrounging for scraps of wood, asking advice on finishing, etc, to make repairs on his furniture. He was about a decade younger than me, in his twenties but was nice and I was happy to help him out.
The guy frequently ask buy the metal cabinets, from the doctors office I now used to store tools. Of course, I always refused. One day I got tired of his nagging and showed him the pile of the other stuff liberated from the doctors office. His eyes lit up when he saw it, a 1940’s vintage exam table/bench. It was well made of Mahogany and leather, and in very good condition for its age. It even had the “Stirrups” for gyno exams and a slide out step at the bottom… “Oh man, that would make a great sex bench” he exclaimed. I chuckled as we often joked around the shop about that prospective use, as well. “How much you want” Me “I’ll let it go for a hundred” “Wa! too much, I cant pay that” Just then, my business partner Philippe, walked in. “Yeah man get that f'ing thing out of here already, we need the space” he said in his thick French accent.
“Okay how about $50?” I offered. The guy looked crestfallen “Well my wife forbid me to buy anymore furniture and I don’t have $50, couldn’t you just give it to me?” “Ah no way for free man, I know there’s some kinky weirdo out there that would easily pay $500 for it (though the thought of actually finding such a person was quite daunting)” Okay how about a trade” the guy begged. “What you got?” “Coffee, I’ll give you guys each a cup of my best coffee, every day for a month, that’s worth well over a hundred dollars” “huh, how so, a cup of coffee is like .75c I retorted. “Oh I charge $2.50 for this cup, its really special, I’ll bet its the best coffee you ever tasted” Philippe and I talked for a second and agreed to the trade. We then proceeded to help the guy move the sex bench to his shop.
As promised, the guy, started making us our first coffees, a solid 10 minutes of grinding, steam, gurgling and sputtering sounds ensued. The heavenly aroma filled the room and could have probably woken the dead. He finally presented the coffee to us. The first sip was life changing, Intense deep, rich full of flavor, without being bitter yet strong, yes, very strong. It was indeed the best coffee I had ever had tasted then, or since…
Philippe and I were sipping our coffees and musing over the now obvious, great deal we had made for the bench, when two attractive young women walked Into the store. “Hi honey” the guy greeted. “What the f@#k is that thing?” One of the women shouted “I told you no more buying any crap, we can’t even pay the f@#ing electric bill” “Look babe, its a sex bench” the guy triumphantly exclaimed, while feverishly extending the stirrups. “If you think I’m f@#king you on that thing you’re f@#’n crazy” the look of rage on her face changing to horror. She turned to her friend “Can you believe what this f@#’n idiot thinks, would you get on that f@#’n thing” the other woman just slowly shook her head in utter disgust. “But hon, I didn’t pay anything for it, I just traded it for some coffees, he pleaded. “I don’t care, get it the f@#k out of here, its gross and disgusting, either it goes or I go” as she stormed off into the back room her friend silently following.
As Philippe and I were heading out the door, I turned to the guy “we’ll see you tomorrow, um, I hope?” “Yeah man, she’ll cool down in a bit, a deal is a deal”…
The next day Philippe and I staggered into the shop, both of us looking very bedraggled “you sleep?” “No not a minute, You?” “No not at all” Oh s@#t it must have been that f@#’n coffee!”
We never went back for another cup, and the store closed down a few months later.
Last edited:
