Today's Joke - 2023 Mega Thread

[ArmyDoc]

View attachment 456837

Too true. The county has raised my valuation by 47%, 45% and 15% in the past 3 years. Hired an appraiser and filing an appeal...

 

[davek181]

 

[NCjeeper]

 

[NCjeeper]

 

[savarin]

Four fonts walk into a bar the barman says "Oi - get out! We don't want your type in here"
I'm in great mood tonight because the other day I entered a competition and I won a years supply of Vegemite......... one jar.
A jump-lead walks into a bar. The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"
I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'Have you got anything for wind?' He gave me a kite.
I asked my Gym instructor if he could teach me to do the splits He said, "How flexible are you?" I said, "I can't make Tuesdays"'

 

[savarin]

I searched for my local orphanage on line but it didn't have a homepage.
When I first heard about Electricity I was Shocked.
MOM” What did you do in school today?”
KID”We played a guessing game!”
MOM”I thought you had a math test?”
KID”That is what the teacher called it too!”

 

[Gaffer]

I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'Have you got anything for wind?' He gave me a kite.

I immediately thought of Rodney Dangerfield.

 

[Eddyde]

 

[davek181]

 

[verbotenwhisky]

I immediately thought of Rodney Dangerfield.

My favorite Rodney Dangerfield Line: I went to a fight and a hockey game broke out.....