Betrayed by a long term friend

[verbotenwhisky]

Thank goodness I don't have any friends.

I have discovered over my lifetime that around 2 in 10 friends were truly friends and the rest were/are acquaintances. I found that only time sorts these folks out and when I get hurt by one of these folks its not usually a friend that betrayed me so much as an acquaintance to whom I assigned a higher value than they deserved.

 

[GeneT45]

If you're going to go after him legally, it's imperative that you speak with him first. Don't threaten, just have the discussion. As @RJSakowski suggested, preferably recorded or witnessed. This does a number of things:

1. You get his side of the story - including what his likely defense would be in the event that you go to court.
2. You hopefully get an acknowledgement of your previous agreement and an admission that the machines were not his to sell.
3. You don't look stupid in court when you are asked how he responded to your accusations or are otherwise be forced to say something like "Well, I told his friend!". That would fairly beg for dismissal.

You may well be out of luck in any case, but if you don't contact him, you surely are.

GsT

 

[rwdenney]

If you record a conversation, most states will require disclosure. Taking a mutual friend is a better strategy.

The question is what is possible at this point? The buyer bought in good faith from a visibly reliable seller and will need to be made whole. But the friend who sold the lathe may simply not have the money to make anybody whole.

No way you’ll make progress without an attorney, and it will only take about a day’s work from a lawyer to overshadow the value of the lathe. And hiring an attorney is a declaration of war.

Now, a question the OP has to answer but not to us: what is your responsibility to your friend as a friend? If you are expecting him to dig deep to restore you just because he is a friend, what are you willing to do to help him out just as a matter of friendship? You can’t expect more than you are willing to deliver, even if you feel wronged.

And once you start thinking legal action or retribution, you are declaring that you are no longer his friend, and it’s hard to expect otherwise from him.

I don’t think I have a close friend who hasn’t forgiven me for offending him at one time or another, and I know I’ve forgiven all of them once or twice, too. Forgiveness is often costly, and the serious question you have to ask is whether the friendship is worth more than a lathe. You may think the other guy has already answered that question negatively, but maybe there’s more to the story.

My good friends would get a lot more than the value of a lathe at time of need.

The standard can be pretty high: “Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.”

Rick “with only maybe three friends in a lifetime who get a complete pass from me” Denney

 

[pontiac428]

If you want to find out who your friends are, ask the guys you've built engines and transmissions and rear ends for their projects in the past to help you move something in your shop a few Saturdays from now... Poof, into thin air... Yeah, um, lost my phone... My wife something or other...

Don't record without permission. My dad recorded a conversation where he was taking the long shaft dry from a business partner (once friend) and had to cash out his retirement to settle the countersuit on top of selling his tools and boat. Sometimes you can be found wrong when everyone agrees you're in the right.

 

[GeneT45]

If you want to find out who your friends are, ask the guys you've built engines and transmissions and rear ends for their projects in the past to help you move something in your shop a few Saturdays from now... Poof, into thin air... Yeah, um, lost my phone... My wife something or other...

Don't record without permission. My dad recorded a conversation where he was taking the long shaft dry from a business partner (once friend) and had to cash out his retirement to settle the countersuit on top of selling his tools and boat. Sometimes you can be found wrong when everyone agrees you're in the right.

With respect to recording, there are single party states and multi-party states. In a single party state, you may record anything to which you are a party (i.e. you were there). In multi-party states you need the permission of everyone being recorded. Tacit permission is fine, but all the recorded parties need to know that they are or might be recorded. Openly recording is generally fine, but make sure you know where your state stands if you intend to record anything surreptitiously. Hence the witness option (in addition to, perhaps, being a means of keeping everyone calm).

GsT

 

[Beckerkumm]

This whole issue seems self inflicted. Not dealing with it directly with the other party for 20 years, and not dealing directly now, seldom make for a reasonable outcome. Go talk to the guy. Dave

 

[Eddyde]

It's hard to talk with him since I don't have his number. The only number I had was his business number and the new owner has that. Yes I want to hurt him, legally.

Yes 2 years apparently was too long, but we did that for many years. It hurts he didn't at least give me a heads up.

Yes I'm probably just screwed. And I don't need the $$$, but I do need the lathe. I could care less about the mill. The mill I have makes the bridgeport look like a toy. Much heavier, box ways, 2-1/2 times the power.

I you don't have his phone number, how can you be sure he has or had yours? When was the last time he contacted you? He might have tried to reach out but couldn't find you.

Again, I think you need to talk to the guy first. I have access to an Intelius account so I could help look the guy up for you, and possibly get his number and address. PM me his full name, town state and previous phone number any other info you might have.

If you only need the lathe and you get to talk with him, that could be a bargaining chip, tell him "okay how about we split it, you take the mill, I'll take the lathe"?

 

[Advil]

You have not even talked to him or the family member. Maybe... Just maybe... He told the family member the mill and lathe were yours but it needed to go somewhere immediately. Sure you are probably screwed, but it's also faintly possible the family member could say "Oh there you are dad/uncle whatever said these were not his originally but we had to move them. Do you want them back?"

You don't know for sure until you ask.

 

[Just for fun]

I agree you need to talk to the guy. If he sold the business to a family member, they surely have his number.