I bought an impressionist painting of some flowers, but when I got back home the cat scratched it. Now I’m trying to sell it as a Clawed Monet.
When past, present, and future walk into a bar, things tend to get real tense.
While small babies can be delivered by a stork, heavier ones need a crane.
I told my aunt I just built a car out of spaghetti and you should’ve seen her face when I drove straight pasta.