2022

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I went to my doctor for a check up and he told me that my cholesterol was too high and I need to go on a diet. I told him I wanted a second opinion and he said, “Okay. You’re ugly, too.”

Tom
 
One of my hobbies is collecting empty bottles, at least that sounds better than admitting I'm an alcoholic.
I think I'm a pretty shy person but I'm friends with 25 letters of the alphabet. I dont know why.
As a child I had an obsession with posh spice, it cost my mum a fortune in saffron.
My girlfriend once told me that sex is better on holiday, that was not a nice postcard to receive.
When I was in West Virginia I thought I should get into the American culture, I went into a shop to buy something and as I left the guy on the till said "Have a nice day". I didnt, so I sued him.

(I think I'm running out)
 
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