2017 Archive

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RandyM said:
The artist tried to concentrate on his work, but the attraction he felt for his model finally became irresistible. He threw down his palette, took her in his arms and kissed her.

She pushed him away. "Maybe your other models let you kiss them," she said.

"I've never tried to kiss a model before," he swore.

"Really?" she said, softening, "How many models have there been?"

"Four," he replied, "A jug, two apples, and a vase."
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Ah yes models, while working on gaining my degree in Industrial Design in the early 60's @ Layton School of Art (now MIAD), we had co-ed nude model drawing classes. One was as though the Michelan Man's mother, & the other was a semi-anorexic women who was arrested for having a disorderly house. Good thing they don't arrest people for having a disorderly shop !
 
A guy is driving around the back woods of Montana and he sees a sign in front of a broken down shanty-style house: 'Talking Dog For Sale 'He rings the bell and the owner appears and tells him the dog is in the backyard.


The guy goes into the backyard and sees a nice looking Labrador retriever sitting there.

'You talk?' he asks.

'Yep,' the Lab replies.


After the guy recovers from the shock of hearing a dog talk, he says 'So, what's your story?'

The Lab looks up and says, 'Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA.


In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping.'

'I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running...

But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security, wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals.'
'I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired.'

The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.

'Ten dollars,' the guy says.

'Ten dollars? This dog is amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?'

'Because he's a *******tter . He's never been out of the yard!'
 
uncle harry said:
Ah yes models, while working on gaining my degree in Industrial Design in the early 60's @ Layton School of Art (now MIAD), we had co-ed nude model drawing classes. One was as though the Michelan Man's mother, & the other was a semi-anorexic women who was arrested for having a disorderly house. Good thing they don't arrest people for having a disorderly shop !
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My daughter had a rude awakening when she went to art school in Philadelphia. In walks an older homeless guy and just dropped his robe for drawing class. No warning, no introduction.
 
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jim18655 said:
My daughter had a rude awakening when she went to art school in Philadelphia. In walks an older homeless guy and just dropped is robe for drawing class. No warning, no introduction.
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Perhaps that model was of similar quality to my experience. Warnings weren't given way back then as well.
 
A husband and wife are on the 9th green when suddenly she collapses from a heart attack! "Help me dear," she groans to her husband.
The husband calls 911 on his cell phone, talks for a few minutes, picks up his putter, and lines up his putt.
His wife raises her head off the green and stares at him. "I'm dying over here and you're putting?"
"Don't worry dear," says the husband calmly, "they found a doctor on the second hole and he's coming to help you."
"Well, how long will it take for him to get here," she asks feebly?
"No time at all," says her husband. "Everybody's already agreed to let him play through."
 
Being a teenager and getting a tattoo seems to go hand and hand these days.
I wasn’t surprised when one of my daughter’s friends showed me a delicate little Japanese symbol on her hip.
“Please don’t tell my parents,” she begged.
“I won’t,” I promised. “You’re 18 now, so I guess it’s your choice.
By the way, what does that stand for?”
“Honesty,” she said.
 
RandyM said:
Being a teenager and getting a tattoo seems to go hand and hand these days.
I wasn’t surprised when one of my daughter’s friends showed me a delicate little Japanese symbol on her hip.
“Please don’t tell my parents,” she begged.
“I won’t,” I promised. “You’re 18 now, so I guess it’s your choice.
By the way, what does that stand for?”
“Honesty,” she said.
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I sure hope remains honest.
 
"Never get a tattoo where the judge can see it" some rock star once said. I whish I could remember who it was. Claims his father told him that.
 
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