# More Senior Moments



## November X-ray (Sep 23, 2011)

An elderly couple had dinner at another couple's house, and after eating,
the wives left the table and went into the kitchen. 
The two gentlemen were talking, and one said, 'Last night we went out to a
new restaurant and it was really great... I would recommend it very highly.'
The other man said, 'What is the name of the restaurant?' 
The first man thought and thought and finally said, 'What is the name of
that flower you give to someone you love? 
You know... The one that's red and has thorns.' 
'Do you mean a rose?' 
'Yes, that's the one,' replied the man. He then turned towards the kitchen
and yelled, 'Rose, what's the name of that restaurant we went to last
night?' 



Hospital regulations require a wheel chair for patients being discharged.
However, while working as a student nurse, I found one elderly gentleman
already dressed and sitting on the bed with a suitcase at his feet, who
insisted he didn't need my help to leave the hospital. 
After a chat about rules being rules, he reluctantly let me wheel him to the
elevator. 
On the way down I asked him if his wife was meeting him. 
'I don't know,' he said. 'She's still upstairs in the bathroom changing out
of her hospital gown.' 



Couple in their nineties are both having problems remembering things. During
a checkup, the doctor tells them that they're physically okay, but they
might want to start writing things down to help them remember. 
Later that night, while watching TV, the old man gets up from his chair.
'Want anything while I'm in the kitchen?' he asks. 
'Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?' 
'Sure..' 
' Don 't you think you should write it down so you can remember it?' she
asks. 
'No, I can remember it.' 
'Well, I'd like some strawberries on top, too. Maybe you should write it
down, so as not to forget it?'
He says, 'I can remember that. You want a bowl of ice cream with
strawberries.' 
'I'd also like whipped cream. I'm certain you'll forget that, write it
down?' she asks. 
Irritated, he says, 'I don't need to write it down, I can remember it! Ice
cream with strawberries and whipped cream - I got it, for goodness sake!' 
Then he toddles into the kitchen. After about 20 minutes, The old man
returns from the kitchen and hands his wife a plate of bacon and eggs.. She
stares at the plate for a moment. 
'Where's my toast ?' 



A senior citizen said to his eighty-year old machinist buddy: 
'So I hear you're getting married?' 
'Yep!' 
'Do I know her?' 
'Nope!' 
'This woman, is she good looking?' 
'Not really.' 
'Is she a good cook?' 
'Naw, she can't cook too well.' 
'Does she have lots of money?' 
'Nope! Poor as a church mouse.' 
'Well, then, is she good in bed?' 
'I don't know.' 
'Why in the world do you want to marry her then?' 
'Because she can still drive!' 



Three old machinist are out walking. 
First one says, 'Windy, isn't it?' 
Second one says, 'No, it's Thursday!' 
Third one says, 'So am I. Let's go get a beer..' 



An old machinist was telling his neighbor, 'I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me
four thousand dollars, but it's state of the art.. It's perfect.' 
'Really,' answered the neighbor . 'What kind is it?' 
'Twelve thirty..' 


Morris, an 82 year-old machinist, went to the doctor to get a physical. 
A few days later, the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a
gorgeous young woman on his arm. 
A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to Morris and said, 'You're really
doing great, aren't you?' 
Morris replied, 'Just doing what you said, Doc: 'Get a hot mamma and be
cheerful.'' 
The doctor said, 'I didn't say that.. I said, 'You've got a heart murmur; be
careful.' 


And One more. . .! 
A little old machinist shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlor and pulled himself
slowly, painfully, up onto a stool. After catching his breath, he ordered a
banana split. 
The waitress asked kindly, 'Crushed nuts?' 
'No,' he replied, 'Arthritis.'


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