# Why ?



## mmcmdl (Feb 9, 2016)

How is it I make gauges with gage blocks ? Is it possible to make gages with gauge blocks also ???

We need a trade humor section .


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## wawoodman (Feb 9, 2016)

And why do we drive on parkways, and park on driveways?


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## mmcmdl (Feb 9, 2016)

And why do we ship from cars +trucks and ships have cargo ?


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## hermetic (Feb 9, 2016)

I could never understand why you cut trees down, then cut them up?


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## Tony Wells (Feb 9, 2016)

And when your house burns down, it can burn completely up!


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## hermetic (Feb 9, 2016)

Ah, that's because while the house is burning down, the flames are burning up............the house.....I think


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## derf (Feb 9, 2016)

Why is it when you're on a "fixed" income, yer always "broke"?


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## TOOLMASTER (Feb 9, 2016)

why buy food when you just rent it?


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## ch2co (Feb 10, 2016)

Don't we do that with beer?


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## mmcmdl (Feb 10, 2016)

derf said:


> Why is it when you're on a "fixed" income, yer always "broke"?



Now THAT I can relate to !! Good one derf .


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## jpfabricator (Feb 10, 2016)

You can tune a guitar, and you can tune a piano, but you.cant tunafish!

Sent from somewhere in East Texas Jake Parker


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## mmcmdl (Feb 10, 2016)

While also , you can pick your friends and pick your nose . Can you pick your friend's nose ?


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## mws (Feb 10, 2016)

No one ever calls an electric motor an engine, but lots of people refer to engines as motors.  I like to old use of the term engine referring to any mechanical contrivance that perform some productive task. Like a "calculating engine" or a "weaving engine". 

Maybe not so humorous, trying to keep it in the machine venue.


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## higgite (Feb 10, 2016)

The local newspaper where I used to live was fond of the term "true facts". Like facts can be false???

You can get the lowdown on something by watching or reading about its highlights.

To go slower, some folks slow down, others slow up. But to go faster, everyone speeds up, no one ever speeds down.

Why do you put an automatic transmission in "reverse" to go backwards, but in "drive" to go forward?

Tom


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## wawoodman (Feb 10, 2016)

When the house is too hot, do you turn the AC up or down?


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## Bill Gruby (Feb 10, 2016)

Why does a Auto Mechanic say --  Start it up so I can see what it sounds like?

"Billy G"


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## cvairwerks (Feb 10, 2016)

Why does sour cream have an expiration date?


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## MozamPete (Feb 10, 2016)

I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal labottome


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## wawoodman (Feb 10, 2016)

And why, when I call Comcast to report an Internet outage, does the recording say I can get help on the web?


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## David S (Feb 10, 2016)

How come "level crossings", aren't.

David


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## Uglydog (Feb 10, 2016)

A gauge is used by an egotistical machinist who thinks that "U" and "I" should be at center of everything.

Daryl
MN

Ok... that was really bad...


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## jpfabricator (Feb 10, 2016)

If you butter toast and drop it, it always lands butter side down.

If you turn a cat upside down and drop him, he always lands on his feet. 

What would happen if you buttered the back of the cat, and then dropped him????

Sent from somewhere in East Texas Jake Parker


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## Uglydog (Feb 10, 2016)

jpfabricator said:


> If you butter toast and drop it, it always lands butter side down. If you turn a cat upside down and drop him, he always lands on his feet.What would happen if you buttered the back of the cat, and then dropped him????
> Sent from somewhere in East Texas Jake Parker



The cat would have dog drool on it's back, and the wife would throw things at me. Maybe the cat.

Daryl
MN


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## savarin (Feb 10, 2016)

If ignorance is bliss why aren't there more happy people about.

Why do those that need it the most never us it? Like deodorant or common sense.


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## savarin (Feb 10, 2016)

Why do they call it PMT?
Because Mad Cows disease was already taken.


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## Steve Shannon (Feb 10, 2016)

savarin said:


> Why do they call it PMT?
> Because Mad Cows disease was already taken.


Did you mean PMS?



 Steve Shannon, P.E.


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## savarin (Feb 10, 2016)

Steve Shannon said:


> Did you mean PMS?


Different country, different name, same problem.


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## Eddyde (Feb 10, 2016)

It's better to be ******-off than ****** on.


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## savarin (Feb 11, 2016)

If I am at your service does that mean I'm stealing your silver platters?
If I am at your disposal does that mean I'm searching through your garbage?


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## ch2co (Feb 11, 2016)

The plane is quite old, that means that it's never crashed before.


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## gotogojo (Feb 23, 2016)

too wongs never make a white


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## Eddyde (Feb 23, 2016)

Two wrongs don't make a right, but three lefts do.


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## Steve Shannon (Feb 24, 2016)

How can you spot an extroverted engineer?

An extroverted engineer looks at your feet. 


 Steve Shannon, P.E.


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