# Why.....



## tweinke (Jun 2, 2016)

Why is it that wives can be so on and off on things that they do not deem necessary. My example is I have wanted a mill to replace the poor excuse of one on my 3 in 1 machine. We discussed it and was told to research it, so I did. Talked price etc. She said look for what will work. Reminded her I didn't need the biggest unit I could lay hands on just a reasonable replacement that fit the size work I usually do. Go ahead was told. Found a mill on e-pay, close to home price was good and in the range we talked about. No can do, wait till after taxes. Tax time came and went. Questioned about the mill, ok look was the response. Found another mill talked about it after a night or two of reflection to be sure I would be happy. No dice again, was $100 more but ideal. Desperate down graded my expectations found another that was at the absolute minimum of work envelope I could live with and thought plead my case again, nope. The money is in place to do this so I just be a bone head and am not seeing something. Thought of pulling the trigger and just saying the mill is on its way but know that is not the way to go. I feel used in respect to the fact I have always made darn sure the bills are paid and the things she wants are taken care of even if it kills me. Might have to start bowling or playing pool instead of spending time doing what I have really come to like and see if that changes her mind. Thanks for letting me rant!


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## mikey (Jun 3, 2016)

Wow, tough situation. I won't even try to advise you on this one, Tweinke. I know what I would do but that in no way applies to you. I hope you two can work this one out. 

Hang in there, brother!


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## turnitupper (Jun 3, 2016)

tweinke said:


> Why is it that wives can be so on and off on things that they do not deem necessary.


When I was married , I wanted an 18' runabout for fishing etc, but the wife didn't like boating so that idea was vetoed.
After the divorce, she spent $400,000+ on a catamaran for her new boy.
12 months later it was moored off the coast of Queensland, Australia, when it was smashed up in a cyclone and went to the bottom uninsured!
Now that IS Karma.
John.


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## derf (Jun 3, 2016)

Here's how I explained it: Machines and tools will make  money, or save  money, occupy my spare time, keep my mind sharp, and keep me out of trouble. ( I could be out drinkin' and chasin' other women) Like Red Green says, " If the gals don't find ya hansom, they'll find ya handy." 
Besides that, it's easier to get forgiveness that to ask permission.


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## TOOLMASTER (Jun 3, 2016)

you ask?  :***** slap:


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## Chip Hacket (Jun 3, 2016)

Maybe get her to agree to start a Mill fund.  Add to it as time goes along.  When fund matches wanted Mill there is no need to ask, just go get it.  If she says no then you just have to take Mill uh... matters into your own pickup truck




Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## jeff_g1137 (Jun 3, 2016)

turnitupper said:


> When I was married , I wanted an 18' runabout for fishing etc, but the wife didn't like boating so that idea was vetoed.
> After the divorce, she spent $400,000+ on a catamaran for her new boy.
> 12 months later it was moored off the coast of Queensland, Australia, when it was smashed up in a cyclone and went to the bottom uninsured!
> Now that IS Karma.
> John.



Hi
Is your name Cyclone


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## chip maker (Jun 3, 2016)

Sounds like your wife handles the finances and that is OK because only one in a household should to keep things straight.What you could do is set a price that you are set to pay for a machine you would like first than if you can get a part time job and save the money till you reach that goal. Make sure that your wife understands that the job is just for the mill you want and when purchased the job is over. Even thou I handle funds for bills etc. in our house if I wanted something big I always saved or gave up something for awhile to get the funds together it never came out of the house hold moneys. The old adage I don't drink,chase other women etc. gets old and I don't think after a while women don't listen to that . Good luck and hope it works out for you.


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## davidh (Jun 3, 2016)

i feel bad for you.    i am so fortunate in those situations, we both have the same check book and credit cards, she is of course in charge of balancing, paying cards etc. but i only mention what i intend to do, then do it, or its mentioned as already done.  
it did take three wives however to finally get to where i don';t need to feel I'm walking on eggshells. . . .  sadly, tis the power of p-----.


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## higgite (Jun 3, 2016)

Every time something around the house breaks, tell her you could fix that if you had better mill. Just never, ever tell her you could fix it WITH the mill.

Tom


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## wrmiller (Jun 3, 2016)

I tell my wife what I'm getting, and ask when would be appropriate (funds wise). But I get it. Then, I get something for her that she wants.


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## Bill Gruby (Jun 3, 2016)

Just get the mill. When and if she questions it, deal with it then. Myself, if I want it I get it. If she wants something that's up to her.

 "Billy G"


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## derf (Jun 3, 2016)

I am a lucky man. My wife never questions my endeavors, matter of fact she often helps with supporting new ideas. She lets me be me, I let her be her. She likes to gamble, slots is her game. And I must say, she is very "fortunate". On one trip to Laughlin NV, I gave her a mission. "Hey honey, it would be nice if you could win about 10 grand so I could upgrade my mill". She looked at me and said, "Would that make you happy?"with a grin. "Be almost better than sex and chocolate", I replied. At that point, she headed for the high limits, I headed towards the jacuzzi.
 After a few hours we caught up with each other, and she handed me $15K, and said "Here ya go, this ought to make your mill purty. The rest is for me..... I'm going back to that machine, it's HOT!"
At the end of the night, she peeled that machine for a total of  $21K!
What can I say other than "I LOVE THIS WOMAN!


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## middle.road (Jun 3, 2016)

derf said:


> I am a lucky man. My wife never questions my endeavors, matter of fact she often helps with supporting new ideas. She lets me be me, I let her be her. She likes to gamble, slots is her game. And I must say, she is very "fortunate". On one trip to Laughlin NV, I gave her a mission. "Hey honey, it would be nice if you could win about 10 grand so I could upgrade my mill". She looked at me and said, "Would that make you happy?"with a grin. "Be almost better than sex and chocolate", I replied. At that point, she headed for the high limits, I headed towards the jacuzzi.
> After a few hours we caught up with each other, and she handed me $15K, and said "Here ya go, this ought to make your mill purty. The rest is for me..... I'm going back to that machine, it's HOT!"
> At the end of the night, she peeled that machine for a total of  $21K!
> What can I say other than "I LOVE THIS WOMAN!


I do hope that you bought her a couple of dozen bunches of her favorite flower...
Ah, Laughlin... Only place in NV that the dice were nice to me. Liked it there back in the '80s.


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## Eddyde (Jun 3, 2016)

The way I work it with my gal is, we have a joint checking account that we both put equal money into for all the living expenses. What's leftover in my personal account is mine to do whatever I want with and what she does with her money is her business. She doesn't question my buying a new machine and I don't question her flying from New York to Phoenix to get her hair done (I kid you not)....


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## tweinke (Jun 3, 2016)

I have been depositing my pay check minus my allowance for the last 26 years, never felt the need to check up on where it has been going. When I say allowance its 300 per month, when I need tools for work they come out of the allowance money. (auto tech). Have the feeling now I should look closer due to no kids in the house and jobs that pay reasonably well for our area. Unfortunately I think a look may not  received well, and I have no real reason to hash it all out because I do really trust her. Thanks for all the comments good ideas or not I guess I will find a way if the mill dream is going to happen.


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## Charles Spencer (Jun 3, 2016)

Well, around here it's something like "The Godfather":

"So, you are having a little problem?  You want a new... (kitchen faucet, three-gl0de overhead lighting fixture, etc.)?   This I could fix for you, as a friend.  Of course you could hire somebody.  But you know the money, the chance that this thing could be done badly."

"What is it you want?"

"I will fix your problem.  All I ask is... "

I once got a set of wrenches for building a book case.  Back when all the wrenches were made in the USA.

Coincidentally, today I rebuilt the front stairs.  Then at supper I mentioned that I had seen "an absolutely fantastic deal on a Bridgeport that I always wanted.  I know it's more than I can afford.  But it makes me sad when I think about it."

Her:  "You know what makes me said?  The downstairs bathroom, especially the shower."

(It is kind of bad.)

(In all fairness, a Bridgeport is worth more than rebuilding the front steps.)

Anyway, sometime over the next year or so, there is a very good chance she will get the shower she wants.


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