# Fat Kid And A Mattress



## GA Gyro (Oct 12, 2015)

This is from a different forum... 
Thought it just too good to not share:  

I was on a two lane road the speed limit is 45 miles/hr. and I was coming up to a red light when the light changed. The car at the light did not move right away and I was still approaching. 
What I am about to tell you is the Lords truth. I see what I thought was a mirage, there is this Red Nissan Altima with a mattress on top with a large kid about 16 easily 260lbs on top of the mattress on top of the car! 
	

		
			
		

		
	



	

		
			
		

		
	
 The light had turned but I think the driver was texting and did not respond to the changed light. A car in the other lane ahead of me passed the Red Altima and I guess that caught the driver attention. The kid on the roof was holding on to the edges of the open window door, off like a shot the driver accelerates 
	

		
			
		

		
	



	

		
			
		

		
	
 I am following I am not sure but I think the mattress had twine just one wrapped around through the windows. Soon we are approaching 45 miles or so per/hr. The kid just was holding on head buried into the new mattress. The mattress catches air! The fat kid and mattress separate from the Altima. (He has just learned some of the laws of physics) drops onto the road (mattress on the pavement) and slides to a stop. I stop back far enough so if I get rear ended I would not run him over I can't believe how lucky he just was. He gets up stands there with a stunned look 
	

		
			
		

		
	



	

		
			
		

		
	
 the Altima finally realizes it lost it's cargo. The kid pulls the mattress to the side of the road and I start to bust up because he is fine. I just took off, shaking my head, needed to get to another job.


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## FOMOGO (Oct 12, 2015)

Who needs reality shows. "Normal life" can be endlessly entertaining. Mike


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## brav65 (Oct 12, 2015)

GA Gyro said:


> This is from a different forum...
> Thought it just too good to not share:
> 
> I was on a two lane road the speed limit is 45 miles/hr. and I was coming up to a red light when the light changed. The car at the light did not move right away and I was still approaching.
> ...




There goes another warning for the label on the mattress...*Do not ride on top of mattress while loosely tied to the top of a moving vehicle!  *


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## higgite (Oct 12, 2015)

This story is more believable.

*Probation for woman who had boy hold down mattress on top of her car*
http://www.koamtv.com/story/15580512/boy-injured-in-fall-from-mattress-on-car


Tom


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## mcostello (Oct 13, 2015)

Worked with a guy who had a friend do that. Car hit a bump, kid and mattress flipped up and over, kid landed  upside down on His head and broke is neck killing Him dead on the spot. Laws changed in Ohio over this.


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## Tony Wells (Oct 13, 2015)

My wife lost a cousin to such stupidity.


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## jpfabricator (Oct 13, 2015)

Humans make terrible hold downs .

Sent from somewhere in East Texas Jake Parker


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## Firestopper (Oct 13, 2015)

Stupid usually hurts....Lucky fat kid with built in airbag.


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## pineyfolks (Oct 13, 2015)

I saw two guys blowing up a large inflatable pool at the minimart. It was turned upside down over top of their car. The driver only had about 2"to see out the windshield. An accident looking for a place to happen.


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## Scruffy (Oct 13, 2015)

This some fun crap.  I was out in my workshop last winter and heard a lot of noise.  I opened the door and looked toward the nearest hose , which is a good quarter of a mile away. Just then a Big Bang and a cloud of dust.  The dips**ts front breaks had locked up on his old van and he spun the tires till one blew out?
  Makes you. Scratch your head. 
Thanks ron


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## mcostello (Oct 14, 2015)

Darwin will win if given the chance!


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## jpfabricator (Oct 14, 2015)

No matter how hard you try to idiot proof somthing, some idiot overcomes the obstical.
Idiots are amazingly brilliant  when it comes to being stupid.

Sent from somewhere in East Texas Jake Parker


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## higgite (Oct 14, 2015)

jpfabricator said:


> No matter how hard you try to idiot proof somthing, some idiot overcomes the obstical.
> Idiots are amazingly brilliant  when it comes to being stupid.


Every time someone comes up with a better method of idiot proofing something, someone else comes up with a better idiot.

Tom


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## coolidge (Oct 15, 2015)

A couple houses over at my brothers a guy was running a circular saw cutting wood. We hear him finish cutting a board then a few second pause then...a loud "goddamnit" lol. I once cut a board several times taking super light cuts...because it was too short DOH!


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## higgite (Oct 15, 2015)

coolidge said:


> I once cut a board several times taking super light cuts...because it was too short DOH!


You were cutting on the wrong end. Sheesh! Even I know that!

Tom


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## jpfabricator (Oct 15, 2015)

Measure twice, cut yourself! 

Sent from somewhere in East Texas Jake Parker


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## GA Gyro (Oct 15, 2015)

jpfabricator said:


> Measure twice, cut yourself!
> 
> Sent from somewhere in East Texas Jake Parker



Hey now... I resemble that remark... LOL

IMO... one of the elements of safety...
Is to recognize when one is having 'one of those days'... and cease all potentially dangerous activity... 
In other words... take a day to play...


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## derf (Oct 16, 2015)

Some years ago, I worked as a drywall hanger. Our crew got on a new construction job, and started in the biggest room hanging the ceilings. I had to run to the truck for a tool, and had to step around a carpenter that was in my way. When I came back through, I swear to god what I witnessed could only be seen in cartoons.
There was a carpenter who was cutting a hole in the floor for the basement stairwell. He sat on the floor, and cut all around himself. Seriously! he literaly sat on the part to be removed and remained there until the plywood broke and he went down with the ship.
Everybody all came running to see what happened, and it was what a reckneck would call "self evident". The foreman took one look through the hole to the basement floor and said, "You've gotta be $#$%^*  me!     I said,  "Nope, seen it with my own eyes. Wiley E. Coyote couldn't have done it any better...."


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## GA Gyro (Oct 16, 2015)

derf said:


> Some years ago, I worked as a drywall hanger. Our crew got on a new construction job, and started in the biggest room hanging the ceilings. I had to run to the truck for a tool, and had to step around a carpenter that was in my way. When I came back through, I swear to god what I witnessed could only be seen in cartoons.
> There was a carpenter who was cutting a hole in the floor for the basement stairwell. He sat on the floor, and cut all around himself. Seriously! he literaly sat on the part to be removed and remained there until the plywood broke and he went down with the ship.
> Everybody all came running to see what happened, and it was what a reckneck would call "self evident". The foreman took one look through the hole to the basement floor and said, "You've gotta be $#$%^*  me!     I said,  "Nope, seen it with my own eyes. Wiley E. Coyote couldn't have done it any better...."



Similar situation... but I was on the HVAC crew...

I mentioned to the carpenter what might happen... and got thoroughly blessed out for it... I think the guy had a hang-over.  
Anyhow... about 30 min later... yeah, you guessed it.  

Some folks are just to smart to listen...


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## Grumpy Gator (Oct 16, 2015)

_When it comes to loading cars some people just don't think it threw._
_

_
_******G*****
	

		
			
		

		
	



	

		
			
		

		
	
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************_


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## jpfabricator (Oct 16, 2015)

grumpygator said:


> _When it comes to loading cars some people just don't think it threw._
> _
> View attachment 112521
> _
> ...



At least they used twine to tie it down, and not try to hold it with their hands out the window!

Sent from somewhere in East Texas Jake Parker


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## savarin (Oct 16, 2015)

derf said:


> Seriously! he literaly sat on the part to be removed and remained there until the plywood broke and he went down with the ship."


Never saw this one only the aftermath.
It happened in Grosvenor house hotel in the west end of london.
They were doing extensive internal modeling and laying in new lift shafts.
The "gentleman" on the jack hammer had already done 2 floors and was working on the third.
Yep, took out the hole all around himself, fell 3 floors onto concrete rubble, major hospital case.
Another in the same hotel.
Dumbo, so nicknamed because of his huge wide ears took a lift from the main kitchen up to the service kitchen on the next floor.
Went down the line of two tier "Bain Maries" turning all the gas taps on.
In those days they only had two intersecting taps for the pilot and main so both could be turned on and no electric ignition and safety features.
Then apply the light at one end and the flame shot down the line igniting all the burners as it went. This had become normal practice.
On this day he did the deed until it came time to light them, uh oh, no matches.
Into the lift down to the main kitchen, light a wax taper, back into the lift and up to the service kitchen, opened the lift doors (they both hinged outwards) and you guessed it KABOOM!
Blew the dividing wall into the restaurant, blew another wall down, one heavy stainless steel bain-marie went into the ceiling.
The only thing that saved him we believe is that the two doors on the lift swung back on him and protected him from the flame.
We felt the pressure from the explosion downstairs as well as the huge BANG.
He was let go.
I still get a grin when I relate this.


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