# You mightbe a machinist if.......



## Cactus Farmer (Jan 8, 2014)

You know you're a machinist when: 

The shop's calendar contains either naked women, cool cars with naked women on them, or naked woman holding a chuck 
After you complete a job and anodize, the client suddenly notices a change they want. 
Everyone in the shop smokes 
Swearing is the most common form of communication 
You help your kid do her math graphing homework and measure the points with a caliper. 
Your girlfriend pulls in for a look at the junkyard without even asking you. 
Your wife finds a chip in her bra and threatens to put some in your underwear, and that doesn't faze you. 
You can't remember your wife's birthday or your wedding anniversary, but you can name all the tap drills up to 1 in. 
You realize your not 1/10 as smart as you thought you were after one year on the job. 
You let a young guy in your dept do it the wrong way first so the principle you show him when he asks for help is cemented in his noggin'. 
You take your scale out of your pocket to stir your coffee then wipe it on your pants and return it to your pocket. 
Someone from the front office asks to borrow your "ruler" you tell 'em you don't have one because you didn't realize they were talking about your coffee stirrer. 
You lay down to go to sleep and wake up with the solution to a difficult setup you are working on...and it happens on a regular basis. 
Someone asks you to build something that has never been built before, and you know what part to make first. 
You curse whoever designed that new tool you bought. Then you redesign the faulty part and make it. 
You go to a trade show and get annoyed because the booth babes are standing in front of the machines. 
You tell someone they can't use a machine not because you're worried they'll cut their finger off, but that they'll break the machine and you'll have to fix it. 
You can hear a shop full of equipment running and tell which one is having a problem. 
You see the fractional tolerances of carpentry and you shake your head. 
You can feel 0.001 in." 
Friends you have not seen for a while drop by for a visit with a "sketch" of something they need made. 
You dare not walk on carpet because of the blue chips wedged in the soles of your shoes. 
You decorate the Christmas tree at work with long metal shavings instead of garland. 
You can think of six other things you are qualified to do that pay more, but you don't even try. 
Your heart fills with joy when someone hands you a freshly hardened piece of 16MnCr5 with a fine grey surface texture. 
You ride a roller coaster, and the first hill gives you the same feeling as watching the first rapid Z move on a new program. 
You grab the Machinist Bible to look something up, and you spend some time just thumbing thru it reading things you find interesting. 
You answer naive questions by saying: "If there were no machinists there would be no machine tools, or machines that make stuff, or stuff to buy. Everything depends on a machinist for their manufacturing or processing. Without them the economy would collapse. Nothing of our culture would survive the next generation." 

Liberated from another place and at another time......YMMV


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## melsdad (Jan 12, 2014)

Good stuff!!

sent from my hand held hickymajig


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## flutedchamber (Feb 5, 2014)

I can identify will all but a few of those points.  My wife launders my clothes separately.  She was tired of metal "surprises."


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## design62 (Feb 8, 2014)

flutedchamber said:


> I can identify will all but a few of those points.  My wife launders my clothes separately.  She was tired of metal "surprises."



So does my wife


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## Walltoddj (Feb 15, 2014)

Thought you might like some comic relief!!

Todd


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## Scar55 (Feb 26, 2014)

I love the one about chips in the carpet. Man, I remember those days.

Kelly


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## drs23 (Feb 26, 2014)

flutedchamber said:


> I can identify will all but a few of those points.  My wife launders my clothes separately.  She was tired of metal "surprises."





design62 said:


> So does my wife



Y'alls wife does your laundry? They're 'sposed to do that? :angry:


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## Jeff in Pa (Mar 22, 2014)

Scar55 said:


> I love the one about chips in the carpet. Man, I remember those days.
> 
> Kelly



 Work boots stay at the shop, I wear other shoes to work.


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## jagwinn (Mar 27, 2014)

Cactus Farmer said:


> You grab the Machinist Bible to look something up, and you spend some time just thumbing thru it reading things you find interesting.



That! I will never get used to the confined viewing of electronic catalogs. Some of the best finds (no. All of the best finds) are discovered when looking for something else on the page.


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