# porch pirates



## 38super (Dec 17, 2018)




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## woodtickgreg (Dec 17, 2018)

Now there's someone with way too much time on there hands and that has overcomplicated the device. I much prefer the simple exploding box of dog poop, or whatever kind of poop you have.


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## ttabbal (Dec 17, 2018)

I was talking about this sort of thing with my wife just last night. I was thinking of trying to get some of the paint bombs banks use. Maybe just a paintballing "grenade". CO2 powered crap launcher also made the short list. I wouldn't have tried to get it back, but getting footage would be awesome.


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## middle.road (Dec 17, 2018)

And then the bloody thief will sue you for all that you're worth cause it caused them emotional/physical/psychological distress and they got something in their eye to boot.

A couple or three cameras, even dummies should deter these miscreants. Make 'em visible so that they see that there is surveillance. 
Oh, and don't forget the sign that states, "This property is under video <BLAH><BLAH><BLAH>"
I know of one business around here that had video footage of the perps stealing his stuff, but it was tossed out because he didn't have signs to notify the miscreants of such.

And then there is the old fall back - if local laws allow, of strapping on your sidearm when you're out on your property for a couple of weeks, it's amazing to witness the drop in strangers walking onto your property. 
(Disclaimer: Best suited for country environs, doesn't go over well in a high density sub-division...)


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## Nogoingback (Dec 17, 2018)

My nephew works at a place where the work trucks are parked out in a yard at night.  They have folks stealing stuff practically every
week.  When they called the police and showed them the video they took, the cops refused to do anything about it.  I think a big
German Shepard would probably solve the problem.


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## john.k (Dec 17, 2018)

An australian blue heeler cattle dog discourages casual sneak  thieves more than somewhat.........our heeler sleeps under the porch steps,and comes up behind miscreants .....it in his genes..........I wont mention what they do in their jeans....Heelers never bark or growl,just do the bizzo...........theres also a red heeler variety...best for over 4000acres ..and no postal delivery.


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## markba633csi (Dec 17, 2018)

High voltage bug zapper + tiny wires on package + wet concrete porch


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## Superburban (Dec 17, 2018)

Just get a cheap appliance, or a big flat screen tv box, full of cardboard. and a GPS tracker that sends it coordinates to your phone.

Want the booby trap route, make some spring loaded devices to push on a spray can, when the string is pulled. The spray can can be paint, a nasty smelling stuff like battery terminal spray, bug repellent, or what ever you can think up.

A walk through the hunting department, may come up with some other ideas, like making a device to dump the contents of deer urine.


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## Aaron_W (Dec 17, 2018)

Get a big box and use it for your trash. When full wrap it up, put it on the porch whee it is quite visible. Place big insured stickers on it to make it look more valuable.  

Bonus points if you have a baby in the house providing dirty diapers for your trash.


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## roadie33 (Dec 17, 2018)

Cat urine spray. So it fogs the whole area. Very difficult to wash off.


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## tq60 (Dec 17, 2018)

middle.road said:


> And then the bloody thief will sue you for all that you're worth cause it caused them emotional/physical/psychological distress and they got something in their eye to boot.
> 
> A couple or three cameras, even dummies should deter these miscreants. Make 'em visible so that they see that there is surveillance.
> Oh, and don't forget the sign that states, "This property is under video "
> ...


Dummy cameras do not work.

Now they are stealing the cameras.

Ring one high on list.

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G930A using Tapatalk


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## tq60 (Dec 17, 2018)

About a month ago network news was doing a sting type story in San Francisco for car theft...someone broke into their truck and cleaned them out...

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G930A using Tapatalk


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## Ulma Doctor (Dec 17, 2018)

i would love to hook up fatal electrostatic devices to packages for the thieves.

thieves are the lowest life forms, next to politicians


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## Bob Korves (Dec 17, 2018)

If you hurt somebody, even a crook, by most of the methods suggested, in the U.S., you will be found at fault if someone gets hurt.  Beyond that, if an innocent kid or wife, maybe your own, happens to touch it and gets hurt, you will dearly wish you had not tried to be so clever.

As for displaying guns, or posting a warning of guns, that just gives them a better reason to break in -- to steal the guns.  It will also put you on the defensive in a court of law.  Showing that you have a gun should always be a big surprise, and only brought out in critical situations.  Waving a gun around will cause a cop (or a bystander) to arrest you or shoot you.

Real life Rambos end up dead or in prison.  Don't join them...


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## rwm (Dec 18, 2018)

I'm just thinking that a permanent dye would be much worse than glitter. Especially in the car!
Robert


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## mickri (Dec 18, 2018)

There are lots of different schemes to thwart criminals.  None of which work very well.  With most shippers these days you can arrange to have things delivered when you will be home or to a neighbor who will be home.  Three of my neighbors home school their kids and someone is always home.  Or to be held at a will call location for pickup.  One of the advantages of having a private mail box is that packages can be delivered there and held for you.  Or have them delivered to where you work.
The thing that you have to remember is that while evenly deadly force is allowed to protect you and your loved ones from harm no amount of force is allowed to protect property.


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## john.k (Dec 18, 2018)

A dog is a very great deterrent to the casual criminal............many criminals are terrified of dogs,even small ones.just the dog barking is enough .The dog stops the thief from casing the joint....a preliminary of many more organized breakins.......A criminal injured by a dog has very little chance of suing for damages if he was on your enclosed property........


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## 38super (Dec 18, 2018)

Next time I'll add "For entertainment only."


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## oldepole (Dec 18, 2018)

roadie33 said:


> Cat urine spray. So it fogs the whole area. Very difficult to wash off.



Use this instead:
https://www.predatorpeestore.com/skunk-um.html


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## derf (Dec 18, 2018)

So why is this in the South Bend forum???


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## john.k (Dec 18, 2018)

That is a good question.............is there a good answer?


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## MrWhoopee (Dec 24, 2018)

derf said:


> So why is this in the South Bend forum???


If you're going to go OT, what difference does it make? This isn't PM.


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## Latinrascalrg1 (Dec 24, 2018)

Even though this is funny its not something the LAW laughs about and it's usually the home owner, not the thief, who will end up paying a penalty for such actions.   The rules vary from state to state so be sure to research the law where you reside but in general if you "KNOWINGLY"  cause or allow someone to be injured on your property, YOU,  the home owner,  Can and most likely Would be held liable.

This applies to any "booby traps" as well as "known aggressive animals" aka guard dogs.  For instance most states recognize the "One Bite Rule" or "First Bite Rule" which is used to determine if the owner had previous Knowledge of their animals aggressive behavior.  The dog mearly has to present itself as being aggressive and does not even need to bite someone! The act of simply jumping on a person knocking them down is enough to meet the definition!  Now if said owner neglects to post any "Beware of Dog" signs and some thief decides to break into that dogs owners property and is injured by said dog then that Thief would have grounds to sue and will most likely win regardless of the fact that they were on the property without permission while commiting a crime.  Basically in the eyes of the Law (thats funny cause I thought Justice was supposed to be blind) it is Unlawful to intentionally cause harm to ANYONE in Any Situation save one exception.....You are trying to stop a violent perpetrator from harming any person in that Moment in time while using Reasonable force to subdue the perpetrator!
To be honest I personally think thats all Bull$h!+ and the law is protecting the wrong people but im sure there was/is a valid reason for such reaction in human history!


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## MrWhoopee (Dec 24, 2018)

A friend with a one man job shop bought a new chipper/shredder. After unpacking it, he filled the box with chips and other shop debris, sealed it up and put it in the back of his pickup, to be disposed of the following day. It was Friday, so he drove to the local watering hole for a refreshing beverage (or three). Imagine his surprise when he came out to find that the box had been stolen.

If the box is sealed, there's just no telling what's inside and no time to check.


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## Nogoingback (Dec 24, 2018)

All this reminds me of a story a co-worker told me years ago after a neighbor started stealing his newspaper off the porch every morning.  Turns
out the guy was taking it and going to Denny's for breakfast, so he grabbed the paper as soon as it hit the porch one morning, removed it from the
plastic, rolled the paper around a pile of cat **** and put it back on the porch.  In due course, the neighbor showed up, grabbed the paper and
headed for breakfast.  After waiting a few minutes he followed him to Denny's, slipped in and sat across the room where he could see the guy.
The neighbor opened the paper just as the waitress walked up to take his order, which resulted in the waitress screaming and a pile of
poo in the guy's lap.

Never stole a paper again.


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## Tim9 (Jan 19, 2019)

Superburban said:


> Just get a cheap appliance, or a big flat screen tv box, full of cardboard. and a GPS tracker that sends it coordinates to your phone.
> 
> Want the booby trap route, make some spring loaded devices to push on a spray can, when the string is pulled. The spray can can be paint, a nasty smelling stuff like battery terminal spray, bug repellent, or what ever you can think up.
> 
> A walk through the hunting department, may come up with some other ideas, like making a device to dump the contents of deer urine.


Can of pepper spray with simple spring loaded nail to Pierce the can. Very cool if ya could delay it so it pops in their car.


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## Cooter Brown (Jan 19, 2019)

Electric fence power supply and a box wrapped in foil.....


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## FOMOGO (Jan 19, 2019)

Any of the Wili E. Coyote ACME products should work. Mike


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## 38super (Jan 19, 2019)

I posted the video link because it was funny to me.  However, the legal ramifications posted by members should be heeded.  I'm not above practical jokes (ask meniscus Bill about his coffee), today's society is more tolerant of violent civil disobedience than harmless humor.  Buzz the tower Mav.


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## RJSakowski (Jan 19, 2019)

My ex father in law had a solution to porch pirates.  He had a large metal box fastened to the deck and wall from the inside and a lockable lid.  When UPS brought a parcel, they would place it in the box, close the lid and lock it with the provided padlock.

I live in a rural area and have not had a problem with parcel theft (well once years ago, but I knew who the thief was).  But we are both retired now so at home most of the time.  When I order anything, I follow the tracking and plan on being around when the delivery is expected.  So far, knock wood, we have not lost anything.

I had always thought it would be cool to have a pet mountain lion who preferred to sleep on the front porch roof.  It would discourage those pesky solicitors as well.


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## Superburban (Jan 19, 2019)

Call them what they are, Porch Thief's. Pirates generally have more work, and risk involved in what they rob.


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## savarin (Jan 19, 2019)

A gang of young offenders were apprehended here a couple of years ago and were found to have a street map of the area with every dog owning home marked. Those were the houses they avoided.
BUT, as we all know the law only protects those who break it so nothing happened to them.
My belief system is that those who choose to disobey they laws of the society they live in have forfeited any right of protection those laws would have given them.


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## Nogoingback (Oct 2, 2021)

In a lot of states over here, the thieves get more protection than the victims, not to mention they can sue you.  Years ago I saw a story
about a thief that tried to enter a building through a ventilator and fell.  Successfully sued the owner of the building for damages!!!

"Course you could move to Texas.  Friend of my wife lived down there for a few years.  They had a prowler one night outside the house
and called the police.  The officer's advice was: "Now, if you have to kill somebody, just make sure they're inside the house before you
call us."


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