# Your Truck Might Be A Beater Truck If...



## Mark in Indiana

Hi Friends,

On another forum that I belong to, there was a discussion about beater trucks. Personally, I think that beater trucks are invaluable because you wouldn't haul the same junk in a $45,000+ new truck that you would in a $500 one. 
One thing that I noticed was that opinions on what defines a beater truck are as wide as the horizon. So, I thought it would be fun to see what the beater truck opinions are here. Please post pictures.

I'll start.
* When you park it on the street, the police flag it for towing.
* There is more duct tape on the seat than upholstery.
* The body is in such bad shape, the salvage yard wouldn't take it. 

Happy Trails!


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## mcostello

When You don't have to open the tailgate to blow out the leaves! Every bump means an increase in gas mileage and less wind resistance.


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## jim18655

No one wants to borrow it.


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## wlburton

At least one essential part is held on with wire.


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## John Hasler

wlburton said:


> At least one essential part is held on with wire.


Or a bungee cord.


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## ogberi

You don't bother locking it, because no self-respecting thief would be seen in it.   Especially given that everybody knows who'se truck it is. 

Securing a load involves hooking a strap into a hole/gash previously punched in the bed by the last load. 

Everybody laughs at the rusted, crusty, holed, crunky body/bed, but stands in mute silence when you smoke a set of dualies like a dragster pulling someone out of a ditch.

When you're facing a lawsuit, because pulling some idiot out of a ditch with you truck, you ripped the towing package, bed, and rear suspension out of their truck using only your home-built trailer chain hoops....

When in low, low, low, low 4WD, your fuel mileage is measured in gallons per feet....

When they call you to drag their 60' furnished double-wide trailer home to a new location, and you remark, 'Hold on a sec, let me put some air in the dualies', before pulling out before the plumbing, stairs, and hurricane straps when you pull out.  

If you've ever 'snatched' a vehicle out of a ditch, and done more monetary damage to it than your paid for your truck......

When you have jury-rigged everything, no AC, no power anything, got to climb on out on the hood to lock the hubs, no heat, no vent, seat won't move, no rearview, one side view mirror, no tailgate, bumper made of 4" pipe, no dash lights, one headlight, five bald tires, seat spring waiting to perform an impromptu vasectomy, and it still starts right up, will drag a 3 story building off the foundation, and you're the first person someone calls when they need someone to pull the Snap-On truck out of the ditch at the end of their driveway.....

Yup.  I'm keeping out eye out for one of those trucks.  I think I could use one.


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## dirty tools

the only speeding ticket is when you do 45 in a 30 mph speed zone.


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## coolidge

Its smoking so badly DEQ won't allow it in the testing bay.


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## Grumpy Gator

_I refer to mine as a work truck._
_

_
_Yea shes old and could use some paint but it's paid for and still gets 30 miles a gallon._
_And when I open the hood I can see the motor no plastic covers._
_*****Later*************G****************_


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## jim18655

dirty tools said:


> the only speeding ticket is when you do 45 in a 30 mph speed zone.


...because your going downhill.


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## Mark in Indiana

Grumpy,

They a nice truck. Nice touch with the Mercedes Benz hub caps.


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## higgite

if your neighbor offers you a hundred bucks for it so he can use it for a planter.

if you get ticketed for driving without a vehicle.

if it's time to reupholster the paint bucket you use for a driver's seat.

if it's main purpose is to haul around bumpers, fenders and other non-essentials that have fallen off of it.

Tom


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## gr8legs

If you wired the ignition to the parking lights because the key switch wore out.

And a while after that the starter switch died so now there's a doorbell button under the dashboard to start it .


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## jpfabricator

If your truck is almost eligable for SSI.

Sent from somewhere in East Texas Jake Parker


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## John Hasler

gr8legs said:


> And a while after that the starter switch died so now there's a doorbell button under the dashboard to start it .


Mine's had that for years.  You also have to wiggle the key just right when taking it out or the aux power stays on.


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## tomh

When the neighbors name it spot.


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## DaveD

I'll do just about anything with a new truck that I would do with a beater. The exception being trying to yank a tree stump out of the ground, and I don't mean 'pull'. Trucks are for doing 'truck work'

Had a 72 Chevy truck that I'd yank pine tree stumps out with after cutting off the feeder roots.  Put about 8' of slack in the chain and let her rip. The only thing I had concern about was the motor mounts letting go and the engine going through the radiator. With today's trucks they have the engine compartment crammed full and there is no room for wayward movement.

Another time had a new (2 week old) 85 1 ton Chevy crew cab dually that was loaded with construction debris and also a 16' trailer on it loaded up too. The day I went to the dump it had been raining for a couple of days. Well got to the dump and they had changed the road in the dump. Now it was a steep downgrade and then back up a hill. Couldn't turn around, muddy as heck so I gave it all I had and gunned it down the hill only to get buried in 2' of mud at the bottom. Truck and trailer. Up to the door sills. Got my 40' of HD chain out, flagged down the dozer operator, and he pulled me to where he wanted me to unload and then pulled me back through all that mud back to hard ground. That man got a extra $20 that day!

It's only the first scratch/dent that hurts


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## Fabrickator

You know you have a beater truck ....

When you don't have to bother draining the oil, you just keep refilling it every day.

When you go to repack some old Levis in the seat and find a $20 in the previous owner's pants.

When you don't have to clean the glass, 'cause there isn't any.

When you have to wire 3 batteries in parallel to find enough juice to turn it over.

When you can see through the bed because it's rotted out.

When you carry a spare rim and a jack in the back to use for a belt drive pump or saw.

When you start it with a screwdriver (cross the solenoid poles or twist in the key switch).

When you get in it and the weeds are growing into the cab.

When dropping the tailgate takes on a whole new meaning.

And finally - When your air fresher is an open bottle of Catfish Dip Bait & Chix Livers.


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## wlburton

This may be the funniest thread I've seen here--partly because it's obvious that everyone commenting is basing their comment on a truck they own or have owned: you can't make this stuff up!

Bill


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## dirty tools

don't forget that the only time it gets washed is when it rains.


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## ogberi

Bought my little Toyota Tacoma in July of 14, with 3 miles on it.  Had it 2 weeks and thoroughly mashed a coyote that ran out in front of me on the way to work.  No real damage, but the mess was horrific.  Not to mention the smell as the remnants burnt off the exhaust.  Nasty.


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## mzayd3

You clean the cab by opening the doors and pressure washing the floor pans.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## Mark in Indiana

You turn on the defrost and a swarm of bees come out.

You learn to keep the windows closed at night because feral cats and other critters have made a home in the cab.

Both personal experiences.


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## furpo

got to climb on out on the hood to lock the hubs!
Hey I've done that many times!


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## John Hasler

mzayd3 said:


> You clean the cab by opening the doors and pressure washing the floor pans.
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


"Clean the cab"?


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## sgisler

You turn on the heater and the mice scatter throughout the cab. 


Stan,
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## pgmrdan

One owner, 12 years old, and 150,000 miles; my truck has just reached its prime.  Give it another 8 years and I'll be able to add to this thread unless you think hauling manure is only done with a beater.


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## jim18655

So far I've seen or did  almost everything  in this thread. 
How about driving down the road and having the wing window fall off?
Put the parking brake on and it pulls the floor pan up.
Have to hold the passenger door closed with a large slide bolt.
Drop the kids off 2 blocks away from where they're going.
Shift the "three-on-the tree" with a screwdriver because the shift lever broke off.
When you leave the windows down and it rains you think "that'll keep the dust down" or "now I'll need mud boots."


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## Dave Smith

I can't wait to take a picture of my friend Lester's true beater truck--and he uses it daily---you will then know what a beater truck looks like---his wife named it Bone Crusher because it slipped out of gear and pinned their son up against the steps and broke both of his legs-----Dave


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## T Bredehoft

Dave Smith said:


> it slipped out of gear



There ought to be a rule, only *stick shift* trucks qualify for "Beater."


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## mcostello

Burnt coyote, that's a new one, also nose watering!


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## Wheresmywrench?

_You spend more time under it then in it!_


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## Dave Smith

you wouldn't believe it that he drives through the river and gets his shoes wet---he uses it to haul wood and pull stumps--the frame rusted in half but he used a chain and a binder to hold it together. it is an 86 model---he drives it daily but he has to drive in the ditches cause they won't let him on the road anymore---it is 4wd with posi and chains on all wheels--------by the way Lester is a retired A-one machinist------admire it---Dave


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## ogberi

Dang.....


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## foleda

Dave Smith said:


> you wouldn't believe it that he drives through the river and gets his shoes wet---he uses it to haul wood and pull stumps--the frame rusted in half but he used a chain and a binder to hold it together. it is an 86 model---he drives it daily but he has to drive in the ditches cause they won't let him on the road anymore---it is 4wd with posi and chains on all wheels-----admire it---Dave
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> View attachment 113625
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We have a winner!


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## mcostello

Thats such an overkill winner that He might also have taken second place also.


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## T Bredehoft

mcostello said:


> Thats such an overkill winner that He might also have taken second place also.



I'd have to go along with that. It wipes out all attempts at competition.


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## Dave Smith

while driving it to work and you hit a fresh cow pie on the road--and you INSTANTLY feel ALL the fresh splatter go up your pant leg 
when all the wire holding things in place is rusting and breaking
when duct tape is used around all the U joints to keep them from excessive vibration


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## Mark in Indiana

In order to get the windshield wipers to sweep the water off your windshield, there is a rope tied from the wiper arms, that go through both the wing vent windows. You & your passenger have to be well coordinated to pull on each end of the rope to move the wiper blades.


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## stupoty

Fabrickator said:


> You know you have a beater truck ....
> 
> When you don't have to bother draining the oil, you just keep refilling it every day.



Ha ha ha yeah 

Stuart


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## vtcnc

grumpygator said:


> _I refer to mine as a work truck._
> _
> View attachment 113497
> _
> _Yea shes old and could use some paint but it's paid for and still gets 30 miles a gallon._
> _And when I open the hood I can see the motor no plastic covers._
> _*****Later*************G****************_


Forget the Mercedes pickup...is that a locomotive in your backyard?!

Sent from my Nexus 7 using Tapatalk


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## 4GSR

vtcnc said:


> Forget the Mercedes pickup...is that a locomotive in your backyard?!
> 
> Sent from my Nexus 7 using Tapatalk



What's that lathe in the back ground to the right, with the tailstock sticking out of the tarp?


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## GA Gyro

Definition of a beater truck...
Simple....

It is THE ONE you head to... when you want to get something DONE!

In my case... I use a LWB Express 3500 for business.  When I need a beater truck... I hitch up the trailer behind the van.  
The van must stay looking kinda presentable for my 'well off' customers...


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## furpo

When the three on the tree linkage finally falls totally apart when your 2 states from home! 
The only option is to stop and reach in the back to pull the hose’s from the acetylene torch inside to cut a hole in the floor so you partner can reach through the floor to shift the 2 arms on the side of the tyranny!  
Hey be careful with your head down there!


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## silence dogood

When you got a good beater truck.  It's got a name.   My truck is called Minnie Pearl.  And I do believe that truck is worth $1.98(trouble is that price tag keeps coming off the antenna).


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## Dave Smith

furpo said:


> When the three on the tree linkage finally falls totally apart when your 2 states from home!
> The only option is to stop and reach in the back to pull the hose’s from the acetylene torch inside to cut a hole in the floor so you partner can reach through the floor to shift the 2 arms on the side of the tyranny!
> Hey be careful with your head down there!




I know what you mean---my clutch ball linkage on the motor broke when I was in eastern Colorado in sub zero weather---I had to feel the rpm and shift the 4 speed by ear without a clutch to get back to Minnesota---maybe younger members don't know how to do that.---to get gas I had to get near the pump in second gear and shut the motor off.--then I could start up in gear to get going again---I still have that 1970 GMC 3/4 ton 4X4 that I bought in 1976---Dave


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## Grumpy Gator

_Vtcnc ,_
_ Yup its a land train. You can catch the build here:                               http://www.hobby-machinist.com/threads/my-next-project.25250/_
_Ken,_
_ Thats my Sidney lathe under the tarp. I find I'm machine rich and roof poor. If I could get her in the shop I would not be able to close the doors. Am talking to my friend with the custom hot rod shop about moving her down there to be out of the weather._
_******G******* _


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## coolidge

Dave Smith said:


> you wouldn't believe it that he drives through the river and gets his shoes wet---he uses it to haul wood and pull stumps--the frame rusted in half but he used a chain and a binder to hold it together. it is an 86 model---he drives it daily but he has to drive in the ditches cause they won't let him on the road anymore---it is 4wd with posi and chains on all wheels--------by the way Lester is a retired A-one machinist------admire it---Dave
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> View attachment 113625



Does he Bo Duke it in through the window?


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## Dave Smith

coolidge said:


> Does he Bo Duke it in through the window?



no--he aligned the door so it opens--Why would you ask?--he is 85 and would have trouble going through the window


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## 34_40

I had a 76 Dodge D-100, slant 6, 3 on the tree.  it had so much rot the cab settled around the frame and made it miserable to shift at all.

It was so ugly we named it Rodney,  as in Dangerfield, it never got any respect!


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## 4GSR

You know if you have an old beater when you have to reach out the window to open the door. My grandpa had one like this.


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## Scruffy

I grew up in the country and laugh at all of the above. How about when every time you go around a corner hearing a noise like B.B.,s rolling around.
Later whent to change from defrost to heat and the control woud’t slide?
12 gauge shot gun shell had fell down the defroster vent and got hot enough that the crimp unfolded and the shot was rolling around in the bottom of the heater assembly.
Thanks ron


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## magicniner

You know you have a beater truck ....

When they break into it, are embarrassed, and leave you a better radio and an apology


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## westerner

When you drill 2 holes to hook the bungee into, to hold the door closed. Rather than fix the latch.
When the hubs are rusted into LOCK, and you don't care. Ain't gonna see pavement anyway.
When the serpentine belt gets split in 2,  lengthwise, and you are happy you got a SPARE!
None mine, but I WAS there. I ain't gone that far, but I DO understand, I do.


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## westerner

Silence- mine are named "ol spot" for it's varied colors AND faithfulness, "Bruiser" for it's 'factory' color scheme (black, brown, and faded red. The ride quality plays in here as well), and "old horse", just because it's a 71 Bronco.


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## owl

you haven't taken the key out of the ignition in years.


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## barnett

When your core support has 2x4 bushings !!!
When it takes as much transmission fluid as it does gas to get to work.


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## brav65

When your sitting on the milk crate and you have to be careful stomping on the starter button on the floor board so you don’t end up with a second hole in the floor...


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## kd4gij

Your truck might be aa beater after this.


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## eeler1

You take the truck to the city, and all them fancy cars don't crowd you, instead give you a wide berth and open road.


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## Cooter Brown

I absolutely love my beater truck.


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## Bob Korves

Cooter Brown said:


> I absolutely love my beater truck.


If that is a beater truck, your standards are way too high!  Nice old iron in the bed, though...


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## jim18655

No pictures but:
1. You can watch the road through the floor.
2. You need to wear coveralls to drive it in cold weather because of the draft.


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## pineyfolks

If it's rusted fenders waive at more people than you know


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## 4GSR

westerner said:


> When you drill 2 holes to hook the bungee into, to hold the door closed. Rather than fix the latch.....................


What do you mean drill two holes, just hook them in one of the rusted out holes in the body and doors.


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## mcostello

When Your fuel line rusts out(again) and You decide to fix it right "this time", and take out 2 other splices and gain several fittings at the same time.


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## eeler1

The heater doesn't work so you have to build a fire for heat, on the passenger side, of course.


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## BROCKWOOD

After seeing Lester's truck, I don't see how any of us can vie for a prize. Mine is a 64 F100. A future project if you will. Kids in car seats with no seatbelts & a metal dash - it was all I had at the time (mid 90s). It got us through our beginnings. The 3 on the tree was worn & everyone that tried to drive it would lock up the shifter & strand themselves. Sort of a built in theft deterrent! I was told that it has seen over 800K miles albeit with engine trans & rear changes along the way. Ain't this a shame: it was only ever in the background. The best friends are always right there though!


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## jpfabricator

When my window regulator failed on my 73 f100, I used a 2"×2" with lag bolts at different hights to hold the window closed or half way or down. The spacer for the alternator was missing, and it would break mounting bolts about every other week. I kept about 2 dozen in the glove box. I gutted the thermostat one afternoon when it stuck closed. I used the back cover off a school notebook to make a gasket. In the winter time I flattened out a cardboard box to block half the radiator so the heater would work. The guys at the tire shop would let me take the old tires that they threw out. I would use them untill they were GONE! The ball joint on the draglink had so much slop that one night they fell apart. I took it all apart, used a friend's dad's torch to heat the socket up and swage it back down tight. It held until it went to the junk yard! I discovered by accident that if you turn off the key while coasting the exhaust could fill with unburnt gas fumes, then when you turned it back on it would backfire. I did this untill I blew the muffler skin off. The muffler got repaired with 2 old licence plates and a dozen hose clamps fixed together. The hood would never latch quit right and blew up one afternoon. I stomped it back down so I could see over it, and used a piece of barbed wire cut off a nearby fence to wire it shut. Man I miss that truck! Sent from my SM-S320VL using Tapatalk


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