Credit for this one goes to Lou Holtz, not word for word, but best as I can remember it:
Lou came home late one night to find his wife waiting up for him. She immediately commenced to read him the riot act about being out late, not paying enough attention to her, all the usual stuff. He held up his hand, stopping her in mid rant, and said, “It might behoove you to know that I lost you in a poker game tonight.”
She says, “You did what?!”
“I lost you in a poker game. I was low on cash, so I put you up to call the bet and lost. Now you belong to one of my poker buddies.”
She was incredulous. “I don’t believe it! How could you lose me in a poker game?!”
Lou said, “Well, to be honest, it wasn’t easy folding with 4 aces.”
Tom