OK - so if I understand correctly, in putting it together, the jam nut sets the position of the crank handle near the end, and the actual "tightening" nut is the hex one between the crank and the housing. You hold onto the handle, and tighten up the hex nut.The nut in question serves as a jam nut as well as holding the crank on. There is a second (hex) nut between the crank and the housing. Tighten that nut (clockwise) which will decrease the load on the jam nut. A pair of needle nosed pliers should now be able to unscrew the jam nut.
Indeed!Needle nose aren't really the "proper" tool but if you are careful it won't mangle the nut too badly